Life is a Highway
by truecurrency1989
Summary: An Embry origins story at first that then develops into a continuation of what happens to him and Leah after Breaking Dawn. It's my reconciliation of two forgotten characters in SM's world. Rated M for language and future lemons.
1. Embry Origins Part 1

A/N:

Disclaimer: I am not Steph Meyer! ok, now that we got that out of the way...

OK…this is my very first fanfic ever. I've been reading them for about a year now and I've read my fair share of Embry and Leah fics. I like a lot of them and I just like this pairing in general. I really think they would be perfect for each other. However, I haven't found an ideal Leah and Embry fanfic that stays true to all the books and the folklore we know from Twilight. I also dislike it when writers add too much to the story or get to the lemons too fast. So I'm writing this with everything I like and don't like in fanfics in mind.

When I read, I have a clear picture in my head, and I'd like yours to match mine so the details I give and do not give make sense to you. I hate…ok, I have a STRONG dislike for the actor they picked to play Embry in New Moon. He is scrawny and not as buff and he doesn't have that cute smile I'm looking for. So, if you would indulge me a little, picture Steven Strait from Covenant and Undiscovered. He's perfectly built and he's kind of shy and he's got that smile that makes me weak in the knees, lol.

http:// /15/682c5b931dd218cb1c9725bf23ffcf07/Steven%

And then for my Leah I pick Q'orianka Kilcher from The New World. As I was thinking who would make the best Leah…. I kept thinking "I need a girl who looks like Pocahontas but could kick your ass" and I found her, lol.

http:// .com /media/rm682463744/nm0452963

It was important to me that she looked really native because of her heritage and how that played a role into her becoming a wolf. That was not the case with Embry because he has a bit of a mixed background but if it helps you can picture Steven Strait with a dark tan, lol.

Ok, I know that was a really long A/N, sorry.

Without further ado, here it is:

*********

You know when people tell you "it feels like yesterday when…" or "my, has time flown by"? Ok, that last example was pretty lame and most likely what my grandmother would say, but you get the point. Maybe you still don't but what I was trying to get at it is that life changes in the blink of an eye. About four years ago, I was a normal sophomore in high school.

You know what's funny, I loved school. When I talked to all my friends I would go on and on about how boring a certain class was or how I hated a certain teacher. Guess what? That was all a lie. I just wanted to sound less like a total geek. Now that I think about it, it didn't really matter what I said. I had always been sort of soft spoken and a bit shy around people. I was that kid in the group you wouldn't hear talk but then I would suddenly make an off color comment. Everyone would stay still for a beat then burst out laugh. I call it timing.

My best friends and I had been that way since elementary school. Also, we lived on a small reservation so everyone was very close. So, regardless of whether I tried to sound cool or not, Jacob and Quil knew who I really was. That was until the day I first phased into an overgrown dog.

I remember that night as clear as day. It was in the summer, around Father's Day.

Now I know what you're thinking: "poor little bastard must have a tough time during father's day." Truthfully, that was never the case. On father's day, my mother and I would go to the Makah reservation and visit her father. I never questioned it or thought it was weird. My grandpa filled the gap of the father I never knew so much that I barely recognized that there was a void there to begin with.

But, my grandfather passed away around Christmas time the year prior. We were all heavily affected by the loss of him. However, by the time June of the next year rolled around, I had made peace with it and I had no idea him being gone would come back to haunt me as bad as it did.

Jacob, Quil, and I were all hanging out in Jake's little makeshift garage. Jake, being the flighty and forgetful teen boy he could be, all of a sudden said, "Shit! Father's day is next week! What the hell should I get him?" Me and Quil traded looks and then turned to Jake with equal expressions of 'you are so fucking random.' Although, let's just say I was very thankful that Jacob finally stopped bitching and moaning about Bella for a whole 5 minutes that summer.

So we started spouting off random crap like new fishing equipment and I even suggested he make a sign that said 'Hell on Wheels' for Billy to hang on the back of his chair. I thought I was fucking hilarious, however it was not a shared thought.

The boys started telling cute stories about Father's days past when they made silly crafts that said 'world's greatest dad' on them with copious amounts of cut-outs, glitter, and glue. As per usual, I just sat there and listened. I poked fun where I could but just smiled and nodded most of the time. I had taken part of this tradition with my grandfather several times in my childhood, as had Quil. We were technically on the same boat but he had some early years with his father before he died and Quil Senior was still alive. For the first time, I felt out of the loop a bit. I didn't want to talk about my grandfather because that _still_ stung and talking about my real father….well that _always_ stung.

What's worse is that Quil and Jake didn't find anything wrong with my silence, not just because I was naturally that way but also I had not been feeling too well lately. So the conversation slowly made its way to the history of their father's. They talked about their tribe and ancestors down to their fathers, what they did, where they came from, how they met their wives, and how that affected their future in some way.

That whole week I had been sporting a slight fever, but I could really feel the heat engulfing my form as I listened and came to realize something: I didn't fit in anywhere. My father could be anywhere, could be anyone, and was most likely not a Quileute. My mother was Makah, but she had severed all ties since Grandfather died and Grandmother pulled back in depression. Either way, I didn't really belong there since mom had run away when she became pregnant with me.

By the time all of this had run through my head, Jake was tinkering with his Rabbit again and Quil was failing to help him. My breathing got heavy and my heart rate kicked it up a notch. I kind of felt like I was going to barf. I told the boys it was time to bounce and without giving them time for the proper 'bro hugs,' I speed walked towards my house, through the forest.

We all have shared transformation stories. Most of them involve the young man in question getting angry and bursting into fur. It's described as the ultimate expression of repressed anger and hatred personified. My first phase was a little different. It was as if my body my answering my ultimate question: 'where the fuck do I belong?'

Heat was coursing red hot throughout my entire body, every vein, muscle, and bone was being pumped with lava. It almost crippled me. I stumbled and braced my forearm against a mossy tree that the forest was abundant in. I was taking in slow and deliberate breaths but my heart kept speeding up that I thought that it would hop right out of my chest. All of this was clouding my mind but I was able to keep my previous train of thought. My symptoms hit an agonizing crescendo, I could feel every bone and muscle in my body change, then I was a wolf.

As I stood there, on four legs for the first time, I surprisingly didn't think I was totally insane.

I was a book worm, so I had delved pretty deep into Makah and Quileute folk lore by the time I found myself in wolf form. I pieced it all together fairly quickly, especially once I noticed that I wasn't alone.

I recognized the voices of three older boys from the rez, Sam, Jared, and Paul. I could feel and hear excitement, anxiousness, worry, and confusion from all of them. They were all thinking over each other until I found out Sam was the Alpha as he commanded, "Silence! Embry, stay where you are, we'll be over there in a minute."

I was basically glued to the ground so I decided to take stalk of what I was. I looked down at my paws… _wow, paws_. I flexed them out and checked out my claws, _cool_. I turned my head and found my bushy, white tail: _Wait…I'm white. God dammit! I feel like the abominable snow man!_

I heard Paul snicker: _hahaha, I shall call you snow white!_

_Blow it out your ass Paul_, I paused, I forgot they could hear my thoughts now. I was very shy but I had a very independent and outspoken brain that was rarely verbally expressed. I could tell the others thought this too.

_Wow, didn't know had it in you Call! I guess I don't mind having you around!_ Thought Paul with an heir of being impressed laced within his words.

Jared made his way to me first as he shook his head in amusement: _great, you're on Paul's good side, that brings it down to a….what? _he lifts his head and perks his ears up in the direction that Paul is entering from: _a 50% chance that you'll try kick his ass for no good reason at some point this week?_

Paul is finally visible in front of me in the form of a large dark brown wolf that certainly dwarfs me. He retorts: _oh, come now Jared, don't scare the little puppy. I don't bite…hard._

Before I can realize that my mind has run its course again, I say: _wow, you must be a lot more fucking stupid than I thought to think that your quip was intimidating….let alone original. One too many hits to the head, it seems…_

This time, Paul didn't seem too charmed by my outspoken inner monologue. The fur on his neck raised and he stalked towards me with a snarl on his face. I immediately backed myself into a tree. He knew he had me cornered as he said: _we see how fucking smart you are once I get my paws on you._

He was just about to lunge at what I can only assume to be my jugular as Sam finally stepped in: _knock it off Paul, _Sam said in the timbre of the alpha male,_ he's new to this and yet he's completely right about the numerous hits to the head, _he snickered lightly at the end. Paul backed away from me with a scowl on him like that of a child who had just been reprimanded by his mother.

Once Paul had turned his back on me he thought: _don't you get so comfortable, you can't hide behind 'daddy' all the time..._he took a pause in stride to look at me sideways with mal intent: _oh wait, you're the bastard that doesn't have a father… _he turned to look at Sam: _you might have a real brother after all, Sam…_

He barely got to finish Sam's name because right when he began talking towards him, I had already taken a running start towards his sorry ass. I had him on the ground within seconds. My jaw was wrapped around his neck first and as I brought him down on his side my front then my back paws landed on the soft earth. I growled with his bloodied brown coat between my teeth.

*****************

This intro got split into two chapters so I'm sorry to keep you hanging. I don't know if there will be any interest in this story so I'll wait to publish the next chapter until I get some reviews. If I don't then I'll just update next week. Hope you liked it!

Reviews are love!


	2. Embry Origins Part 2

A/N

Oh, by the way, I'm not Steph Meyer, just in case you were wondering….

And here you go, hope the suspense didn't kill you!

*************

I had never acted out in my whole life, especially not like this. I mean, I grew up not having a father which was no big deal. You tend to forget details like that when you're living your life because it is just reality to you. My mother never really brought it up and she made life as normal as possible for me. But I guess sixteen years of whispers, awkward silences, and loaded questions about my father were the point where I had enough.

I couldn't help it, I saw red. The wolf within me was taking over, very close to ripping off Paul's head from his shoulders. I was glad we could hear each other's thoughts because I needed Paul to listen to what I had to say but having his neck in my mouth would have made it impossible to verbalize my anger.

_You son of a bitch! For the first time your fucking right about something! Who knew you had it in that cracked skull of yours, _I gripped tighter with my teeth, lifted him up a bit, then slammed him back down with more force which made him swear and whimper, _you're fucking right I don't have a father nor have I ever, therefore you should watch YOUR fucking back and YOU can cower behind 'daddy' Sam. I've never needed a father nor do I think I will even if you're the weakest of all that threatens me. _

Thinking back, I can't believe Sam let me keep a hold of Paul like that for so long. Maybe he was astounded just as much as the rest of us were of my little outburst. Come to think of it, both Sam and Jared just let it happen. Paul must have had it coming.

Sam commanded in an even and authoritative thought: _Embry, let him go._

It took me a second but I finally loosened my clenched jaw from around Paul's collar and I stepped back to let his injured form drop to the ground. I could taste the metallic flavor of blood drip off of my canines. I wouldn't close my mouth for fear of letting any of Paul's filthy blood get into my system. The human within me was disgusted but my wolf form was pumped from the victory. Same told me: _go wash off your muzzle in that nearby stream, you look frightening._

I took the hint and walked towards where I heard water. I dipped in my snout and washed off the blood by pawing at my face. I was faintly aware of Jared nudging Paul to stand as Sam told them both to phase out and meet at Emily's place. You could tell they left because it felt like two different lines of feedback from a video were taken out. I saw Sam's pitch black shape walk up next to me. I lifted my head from the water and looked him strait in the eyes. They were really dark, tired, and laden with responsibility. Before he could make a coherent thought towards me I said: _what did Paul mean? Are we brothers?_

Sam avoided the question by turning around and answering: _all the men in our tribe that have the honor to take the wolf form of our ancestors are brothers._

_Bull shit, you know what I mean, _I retorted. I was really sick of all this animosity. I also decided to let my brain run wild, there was no taming it.

Sam sighed heavily: _it's true, you could be my brother….or Jacob's…or Quil's…_

_Wait….WHAT THE FUCK? This paternity business just turned into an episode from 'Days of Our Lives' or maybe a new reality show from VH1 called 'Who's Your Daddy?'_ I spit out as I let all of this settle in my mind. How the hell could he be so God dam sure that I shared a father with possibly him, Jake, or Quil.

_They were the men in our tribe that carried the direct gene of a werewolf, _said Sam.

I looked at him in confusion: _but Jared and Paul…_

…_have genetic connections to our ancestry from both parents at some point in history. You, however, are half Makah, so you would need a father that has the direct descendents from the Great Wolf in order to phase._

My wolfy eyebrows were all scrunched up in puzzlement and my mouth was hanging open. I looked as much like a fool as I actually was at this moment. It finally clicked but then the repercussions of my transformation hit me like that cat being shot and splattered on the wall in "Boondock Saints." I ignored Sams slight chuckle at my mental image as my mind kept racing.

I was always ok with the fact that my father could be some dead beat passing through that knocked up my mom. That way, he was too difficult to find even if I wanted to and I would never want to ruin any family this mystery man might have beyond me. Now I KNEW for a fact that my existence could do that. I guess being Sam's brother would be the least of three evils because he had skipped out a while ago. Knowing that he was a cheater too wouldn't be much of a stretch.

Sam looked at me with pure remorse and pity: _I know that becoming a wolf is tough on a kid such as yourself, you're our youngest yet. I can also relate to being without a father your whole life. And to think my…or maybe OUR father was the reason for both of our fucked up existences, makes me beyond angry. But, really, we can't do anything about either conclusion. You can deal and do whatever you want with this information. I warn and command you, however, to not talk about being a wolf to anyone besides myself, Paul, Jared, Emily, Billy, Harry, and Quil Senior. You can't even tell your mom. So be careful if you tell her that you have three possible fathers, because you will not be able to explain the reason why you know._

I felt crippled by the command. I couldn't tell my two best friends or even my own MOTHER. Holy shit, life just got really fucking complicated.

Sam made an ironic laugh: _it didn't bother you that you burst into a pile of fur on four legs or even that your existence might cause a problem in one of your friend's families, you're just pissed that you can't tell anyone. Trust me kid, you have it a lot easier than I did._ I saw a flash of memory from Sam. I saw his first transformation, the month of aimless wandering and wondering what he was. I got a glimpse of his meeting with the council but then it quickly changed to a rapid succession including snippets of Leah's crying face and Emily's scared one. I had a feeling he let me see too much.

I couldn't help it, I brought up the horrifying yet captivating image of Emily's beautiful, caring face all scarred up after the supposed 'bear attack': _YOU did that to Emily?_ He hung his head in shame and his self hatred was making me feel terribly depressed.

_Yes, I did that to Emily when I lost control, _he looked me strait in the eyes again, _that's why you have to be careful, get away from the situation as fast as you can to avoid hurting the ones you love, _Sam morosely said.

I pulled up Leah's tear stained face from his memory and I felt the depression worsen: _is that how I avoid emotional pain like this or are you not blaming this one on the fact that we turn into monsters?_

Again, this was another testament to the fact that we live in a VERY small town. I didn't know Leah personally, she was two years ahead of me in school, and she was the native equivalent of the stereotypical 'girl next door.' Sadly, Pocahontas had a guard dog, and trust me I called Sam that BEFOE all of this wolf business but now it's just ironic. So she was basically unapproachable but we all knew her story. Leah and Sam were sweethearts and the golden couple of the rez for all four years of high school.

Then, all of a sudden, like from a teenage drama on the CW, Sam disappears for a whole month and when Leah's lover boy finally reappears, he leaves her for her cousin, Emily. There wasn't one day for a whole two weeks that I didn't hear about it or see my mom chatting with a bunch of her friends about it over tea. I only brought it up now because, well #1: I was stupid and #2: I got the privilege to see her once after he dumped her. I was walking home from Jake's house and as per usual, I went by the Clearwater's residence. My curiosity got me to look through their front window. I saw Leah sitting at the kitchen table with her knees curled up to her chest and her head down, tears streaked across her face. It was such a disturbing contrast from the bubbly girl I used to see merrily talking to her friends in the hallway about 4 months prior. Even though I didn't know her, it was heartbreaking.

He was silent for a long while, just letting me have my little moment of contemplation, he couldn't make a coherent thought anyway. He finally looked up at me with the saddest and most remorseful stare in the world and responded: _what I did to Leah could not have been prevented and yet it caused the most damage. I wish the stars were written in some other way, but fate has a sick and twisted sense of humor._

I snorted in disgust: _you blame fate for history repeating itself!? The son of Sam Uley Senior walks in his father's footsteps and you have the audacity to think it was 'written in the stars,' well you get off pretty fucking light in that conclusion!_

I should have never underestimated Sam's seniority over me as a wolf. He had my neck pinned by his large left paw in no more than a second. The wind was completely knocked out of me. _Shit! _I groaned.

His teeth were bared in a terrifying snarl an inch away from my face. He growled at me with deafening ferocity: _don't be so fucking sure of yourself pup! We could very well be the farthest from related in any sense! This wouldn't make my father any less of a disappointment but he certainly wouldn't be a cheater! In any case, neither am I! You know nothing!!!_

Before I could ask any further questions, he just showed me everything. I might have gotten up close and personal with both Emily and Leah, which made me uncomfortable, but now I understood.

_Motherfucking imprinting, _I cursed. Sam slowly lifted his paw off of me and stepped away from me.

_I know, _he said, _I mean, it brought me Emily, but I never wanted to hurt Leah_. He was still standing next to me, now with his head sunk low to the ground. I slowly got up, all the while keeping my thoughts in check in order to keep Sam from kicking my ass in one swift movement again.

So, we had basically gotten all of the drama out of the way…and now there was awkwardness. To break the ice I said: _sooooo…..you think Paul is going to retaliate?_

He laughed in disbelief at my naïve question: _you'll be lucky if he doesn't kill you, _he shook his head. _I can't blame you at all, though. Paul can get out of line pretty quickly and I would have tackled him if you hadn't. As stupid as it was for you to risk getting killed by Paul by acting out like that, I liked seeing that you had it in you. You'll need that energy to protect the border, just don't use it all up on Paul._

'_Protect the border?' Why would we need to do that? This isn't back when neighboring tribes or outsiders would try to get into our land. Where's the danger? _I asked.

Sam cocked an eyebrow at me: _you didn't think we turned into giant flee bags for nothing, did you? I also can't fathom why, through all you reading that made you prepared to become a werewolf, it never said anything about what we are made to destroy…_

I was clearly confused: _'the cold ones?' What? Vampires?.....Seriously?_

He looked at me like I was crazy again: _you can't believe in vampires but you can deal with that fact that we are standing in front on each other…as wolves?_

_Well yeah…_I said stupidly.

Sam just came up next to me and nudged my shoulder: _ok, pup, you've got a lot to learn._

And man, did I ever. Phasing back to human form was the first little hurdle but being a wolf in general was absolutely amazing, frightening, complicated, suffocating, and exhilarating all rolled up into one. The most surreal feeling was using your bones and muscles in completely different ways than you had for more than the last decade and a half.

The down side was having to stay away from my friends and keep this huge secret. But then I finally got one of my friends back, Jake, and then a little later, Quil. Besides the obvious tension that went with "you can't tell anyone and I might be your brother," the transition went fairly smooth. And luckily, all the drama that occurred from there on out didn't directly involve me: Jacob's depression, killing bad vamp #1, Bella's involvement, Leah's transformation, bad vamp #2's return, the wedding, the vamp hybrid, and the pack mutiny. Ok, I might have taken sides on that last situation but only after the army of bloodsuckers came and Sam let me and Quil leave his pack.

Since my first explosive day phasing in the forest, I had learned to control my temper and hone my pent up aggression towards patrol, training, and the little bit of leech dismembering I got to partake in. I didn't even let Leah bother me when she had to bring out the skeleton (aka: who is my father?) out of the closet because of her bitter rage towards Sam. The only thing that ever shocked the hell out of me was her phasing in the first place. I'm not sexist, I was raised by a very empowered and independent woman, but a girl werewolf…who knew?

It has been four years since I first phased. I just turned twenty but I still feel like I am only sixteen and in theory, I am. I don't age, I heal fast, I have a body practically sculpted out of marble, and I eat more in a day than a third world country does in a year. Life is pretty simple and relatively drama free. I graduated high school and am currently taking general college courses locally. Sam and Emily got married along with Paul and Rachel a little while later. That stupid monkey suit of a tux was a good investment for the last couple of years. And it will come in handy again; Kim and Jared are getting married in a couple of months.

As for the other imprinters, Claire is seven and keeping Quil very busy. Jacob convinced the Cullens to stay in Forks until Renesme, now looking 12, was high school age and then he would move with them. Hopefully he will get a decent education out of it.

That brings us to the fact that I am currently bordering the whole of Forks, La Push, and Cullen land. The little pixie leech…ummmm…Alice, got a 'vision' of one of those Italian vamps but nothing more than that. So, Jake being the little worry wart he is ordered all of us to phase and patrol the world, practically, to see if we smell anything. Mind you, he is holed up in the Cullen mansion probably holding on to 'Nessy' for dear life, waiting for a word from us. Jake is still my best friend but, I mean, imprinting has turned him into such a pansy…

***********

So that was chapter 2 of Embry Origins, lol. I hope I explained enough and yet didn't over explain everything we already knew from Breaking Dawn. I added in a brief synopsis of the last four years, but nothing too interesting happened then in Embry's life so I kept it short. Tell me if I left anything out.

And OMG I found the perfect wolf pack picture…well at least partially:

http:// .com /art/Wolf-s-Rain-Characters-6916730

(just take out the spaces)

From left to right: Jacob, Embry, Seth, and Leah

Reviews, comments, and questions are very VERY appreciated!

Oh and TELL YOUR FRIENDS!!!!!


	3. The River

A/N

So this chapter will hopefully answer some of your questions and probably raise new ones. I hope you find it entertaining to read as I did writing it. This was actually the first chapter I ever wrote for this story.

Just to warn you, though, the Cullens aren't going to be in this much. Their involvement is only there because of Jake and Jake is only there because he's the Alpha. Yeah, I wasn't so thrilled with Jacob after he imprinted on Nessie so he won't be in here that much.

Without further interruption, here you go:

**********

We had been running patrol all day with nothing to show for it. For Christ sake, I think we may have patrolled the whole border of Washington State by the time we met back up again in the forest somewhere around La Push. However, instead of being tired, I was pretty riled up. I was bouncing all over the place in wolf form, trying to release some of my energy. I felt so hyped up…like an idiot line backer before a football game.

I just wanted to kick the shit out of someone but since we didn't find any vamps on our little excursion I would settle on hitting something. As I made my way towards the clearing where my other pack mates had gathered, I excitedly scanned the dense green forest for something to take my energy out on. When I was about to resort to ramming my head into a tree to see if I could knock it down, Leah audibly rolled her eyes at me. I quickly turned to look at the gray wolf. I felt like a puppy that had just had his name called as I perked my ears up and wagged my tail. Fuck, I must have been high on something.

_Ok, you thick headed oaf… as much as I'd love to see you acquire _more _brain damage trying to knock down that tree, I don't think it's such a good idea_ she thought. My tail immediately stopped wagging but I was still pumped. I just waited until she turned her back on me to start jumping around again.

I felt like Ed, you know that stupid hyena from Lion King? Yeah, I was Ed and Leah was Shenzi.

She finally turned to the others: _Well, ladies, there is nothing left to do. Jake was just being an anxious mother hen. I'm gonna go for a swim in the nearby river. Anyone want to come with?_

_Sounds great, I'd rather that than visit Nosvaratu's sickly sweet haunted mansion _said Quil.

Just as Seth began to piss and moan about being nice to vampires, Leah snorted: _don't you have your child bride to attend to, Quil? Last time I spoke to Claire I heard she had a fairy princess costume with your name on it._

Seth and I started rolling on the ground laughing while Quil growled at Leah. We all got a nice mental image of a very large Quil in an under-sized pink tutu and a tiara with a huge dumb grin on his face. None of us had any idea who had thought of it or if it was actually from memory. It didn't matter, it made me and Seth laugh so hard we couldn't breathe but it had the opposite effect on Quil. He snarled at Leah and spit out: _bite me!_

_My pleasure _she said with a wolfy, shit-eating grin plastered on her canine features right as she nipped at his heals.

As Leah chased Quil around the clearing, I thought: _you're such an idiot, Quil._ _You KNOW she bites…even without being asked._

_OW!_ Quil yelped as Leah got a good hold of his tail. We all saw a mental picture from Leah of her whipping him by his tail and throwing him against a tree but she just decided to yank him so he fell behind her in stride. She unclenched her jaw from around him and sped ahead of him before he could retaliate.

_God dammit! Seth, your sister gave me rabies!_ Whined Quil as he examined and licked his already healed tail.

_Why you complaining to me? It's not like I have any control over her_ Seth shrugged.

By this time, Leah had made her way over to a small ledge that overlooked the little meadow we had been meeting in. Her smoky grey coat contrasted with the lush jade and emerald hues of the forest. I can't help but to think, now, how glorious she looked there as she stated in her Beta voice: _No one controls me_. Though, beneath the layers of confidence and power I could sense….not conceit…but the tone was noticeably bitter, in a way that could only be a reference to Sam.

SHIT! Right after I thought that, I felt remorse. Now that she had finally gotten rid of him when she switched packs, she never wanted him spoken of. I quickly pointed my muzzle to the ground and hid my tail between my legs in a clear sign of submission. I was fully prepared for my head to be bitten off for that one but the tongue lashing never came. I slowly and cautiously lifted up my head, peering over my eyebrows in an attempt to see if she was going to rip me to shreds after I thought the coast was clear.

To my relief, all we saw was her approaching the river's edge and she phased out. How the fuck does she keep her thoughts so closed off?

My very important question was totally forgotten….or maybe ignored…as Quil huffed: _Finally!_ _The bitch of La Push is gone!_

As per usual, I was about to agree, since all of us, mostly me, had felt the wrath of a very bitchy Leah Clearwater. I didn't hold a grudge against her for ever picking on me, I totally understood, and since she joined Jacob's pack, the insults directed towards my questionable paternity had stopped. As grateful as I was for that, I wasn't going to deny that she could be a bitch, and I thought Seth thought the same way. I mean, he grew up with this chick, he had to know what a pain she could be.

Boy, was I wrong….

_Shove it up your ass, Quil _barked Seth. Quil and I turned our heads to gawk at one another with equal expressions of horror and surprise. Seth NEVER acted out like this. And I know I don't count 'ass' as a serious swear, but Seth is soooo strait edge that I had never heard him utter it in speech or otherwise.

Quil finally broke the tense silence by blurting out: _come on Seth, you know better than I do that she can be a bitter, barren, old…_

But he didn't get to finish as Seth snapped, _God, Quil! Don't you have some new sparkly pink nail polish to try on while you giggle over which Jonas Brother you think is the dreamier?!_ To add to the horror and effect his statement had, he ended that last part with a mocking, girly tone that was heavily laced with malice.

He would never insult a brother like that either. While everyone else, especially his sister, picked on Quil because of his imprint, Seth was the one to usually defend him. This ran through Quil's mind too.

Quil whimpered and looked like I had a minute ago. Cowering in front of Seth, Quil said: _come on man, I just…_

_NO! Go bellyache to someone who cares, like….like your Pedophile's anonymous group._

I stood with my mouth wide open, just staring at Seth. He and his sister were worlds apart in terms of disposition, age, and mental stability. However, besides the lack of grey fur, Seth could be mistaken for Leah as he bared his teeth and spit out insults at Quil.

Neither Quil nor I had _ever_ seen him like this. Since the fury was only directed towards Quil, he decided to bow out. He slowly turned his pathetic form towards Claire's house, all the time mumbling to himself in his thoughts. He was never really one to apologize especially if he had already been verbally bitch slapped like what just transpired.

Once he phased out about a mile away, it was eerily quiet. The awkward silence was like right after a normally calm and reserved teacher explodes at their class. I felt like I had personally done something terribly wrong even though Seth's anger was no fault of mine.

After pacing back and forth a few times, thinking of what had just transpired, Seth looked sheepishly up at me and said _I'm gonna go tell Jake we didn't find anything. K?_

I just nodded and tried to act like everything was normal. I even started humming and singing a part of a song I had stuck in my head: _life is a highway, I wanna ride it all night long…..enter killer harmonica solo!_ That was luckily long enough to get Seth far away enough to phase and give me a needed distraction as to not bring up anything to upset him again. Now that I knew that kid had a temper like Leah, I would not be fucking with him.

I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. I was certainly no longer on a sugar high like before. Seth's outburst deflated my restless mood. I just aimlessly walked around for a while, picking at rocks with my paws when I remembered something Leah said about swimming. Cooling off in the river would do me good.

I phased and pulled on the cut off sweats that I had tied to my leg. As I approached the water's edge, I almost felt relieved when I didn't see Leah in the water. But then my wolf hearing kicked in and I turned my head slightly to the left when I heard a faint splash of water.

And there she was, in all her magnificence.

She was waste deep in water by the edge of the river with her palms down, just grazing the top. Her hips slowly swayed with the current.

Let me start by saying that I have seen Leah Clearwater naked before. Truthfully, all of us had even though we would never dare to admit it. She was a very pretty girl and we had all sneaked a peak after she had phased, one time or another. It was more for curiosity's sake than anything else. All of us who hadn't imprinted were fairly young, with little to no experience with girls. Therefore, if you saw a beautiful native woman standing naked in front of you, you would look. Even if she would kill you when she found out, it would be WAY worth it.

So, she used to dart behind trees and stuff to change but now she acted like one of the guys. However, she was still a very beautiful naked woman in front of a bunch of mostly horny teen age boys. It was no problem when she changed packs because all the wolves in our group were either her brother or imprinted……except for me. So now _I_ was darting behind trees while she was getting undressed and dressed. I couldn't care less if she saw me naked….but I would get my ass kicked to Canada if she caught me looking at her.

Therefore, at this point in time, I don't know whether my pulse is quickening because I want to bone this stark naked girl in front of me or because I'm afraid for my life if she catches me staring.

Again, seeing her like this was NOTHING like the other times I had seen her before. One of the big differences was her hair. Since she had left Sam's pack over two years prior, she had let her hair grow down to her waist. Its wet length clung to her body in ebony waves, around every arc of her body.

My heart skipped a beat when she made a sudden movement. I thought she was going to whip around and lunge at me…..and not in the good way. To my astonishment and luck she merely lifted her hand up to the back of her neck to gather her hair, twisting it and pulling over her shoulder to her front.

With her locks no longer covering her form, I was able to appreciate the work of art her body really was.

For the first time since she had phased, she looked so feminine and curvaceous. She reminded me of Sand Serif in The Spirit. But Eva Mendez still had nothing on Leah Clearwater. Leah shared the same curves and ample ass but with more height and lean muscle. Her copper skin glistened from the beads of water that reflected the mid afternoon light and slid over her silky body.

She raised her hands and lightly placed them on her head in a stretch. I tilted my head a bit to the right to get a better look at her breasts, which were now obviously visible.

Ok, so I had clearly seen this all prior but for some odd reason, it affected me more than ever before. I knew my peep show had a time limit so I tried to memorize every aspect of her body. What I found as I did this, though, was that it took longer than I thought for her to say something and I wasn't just memorizing her figure for future daydream material, I was genuinely captured by her beauty.

That didn't stop me from daydreaming, though:

_I slowly pull down my shorts and step out of them, into the water. She still doesn't turn around as I slowly come up to her from behind. I get close enough to her, that my breath reaches her neck and she shivers at the sensation. I softly place my right hand on her hip and the other on the base of her neck. I place gentle but desperate kisses from her shoulder to the soft spot behind her ear. The hand on her hip slowly makes its way to her breast and I gently massage it. She moans my name as I bring her closer to the very prominent boner pressed against her back. She slips her head back and her moist, plump lips whisper in my ear, "I need you inside me, now."_

Before I can gawk or fantasize much longer, she moved her head to the side and said, "Stop jerking off and get in the water. If you don't, then you better start running because I will pummel your ass on the count of 3.

"1…2…"

Without thinking or paying attention to her count down, I mutter, "You can pummel me anytime you want" and I start to stare at her chest because by now she has turned around and put her hands on her hips.

She already had stopped counting at my very blatant comment. She looks at me with her 'what the fuck?' stare and says, "what did you say, Call?" Disappointingly, she also crosses her arms over her chest.

I am finally able to tear my eyes from her killer rack as I look into her mint chocolate eyes. What I saw there would, at first, be described as disgust but before she turned her back to me again I swear I saw lust.

"ummmm…I just was gonna…and you…and the…" I stuttered out and I even scratched my head like the fucking dumb ass I was as she waded farther out into the water. She was now about shoulder deep and I got sad knowing my peep show was now over.

She still didn't respond until I blurted out "why aren't you wearing any clothes?"

"I'm having sex with a mermaid" she smarted back and continued with "either get in here or leave!"

Her actions really had me in a tail spin today. First, she held back and didn't throw Quil across the forest. That was the first hint that something was up. Revenge was her art form and physical violence was her most beloved paint brush. Yes, she did grab his tail but that was NOTHING compared to what she would have done and what she had the power to do. Then, she left without having me feel her wrath after that Sam comment. Also, she let me get away with staring at her for so long. Now, I don't know why I was complaining because it seemed like I was getting the most luck with Leah's new attitude. She had insulted me a few times so far but I had no healing bruises or scars yet and it was already around 3 pm. That was VERY odd. I was just waiting for my good fortune to change at the drop of a hat.

Hesitantly, I placed one foot in the water. Without even turning around, she interrupted by saying "are you seriously gonna swim with your shorts on?"

I stupidly responded, "but you might see me….naked…"

She laughed maniacally at that, turned around in the water (tempting me to look lower), and said, "oh come on, you pansy. I've seen plenty of man candy in my day so don't flatter yourself…oh wait, now I know… you have a pinky dick?" She raised her eyebrow in that terribly sexy way that almost made me reveal how little I was not.

While trying to keep my inevitable boner in check, I started denying her dig, "n-n-n-NO! I-I just…" God damn it! This woman was making me stutter!

"Oh, it's that bad huh? What? 4 inches? 3?...ouch…" she teased and taunted.

I rain my hands nervously through my hair, "no, stop assuming shit…"

But I was cut off from arguing with her when she made her final insult, "it's ok, size doesn't matter to some girls."

I don't know why that got to me so badly. Maybe being single and sexually frustrated for the last 5 years was making me loopy. So, I thought 'fuck it.' Before I really considered my actions, I told her to shut up as I finally pulled off my shorts and kicked them off my ankles in one swift motion in front of her.

I was now standing there, naked, in front of the most beautiful girl on earth. I might have gotten rid of the erection I had earlier while peering at her nude body but I wasn't about to hold out much longer if she continued to stand nude in the water staring at me with her mouth shaped into an 'O'.

********

So, I hope you liked that!

Oh, and I have an open quest to all my readers to find evidence to one of 3 conclusions:

1) Embry is older than Jacob

2) Jacob is older than Embry

3) There is no evidence supporting either in any of the books

See, I don't have my books here with me at school so I ask you guys to maybe look it up for me because I want to stay as true to the Twilight universe as possible.

Reviews are love!

Tell your friends!

Thanks!


	4. Seeing Her Smile

A/N

Thank you so much for all your reviews!!!!! Also, I'd like to thank all of you who answered my question, which helped a lot.

And yes….there will be some….ok, A LOT Callwater. I LOVE this pairing!

I'll be posting a song list later because once you know the songs I've been listening to, you can really tell the influence they've had on the story.

So here you go! Enjoy!

************

Wow, I am a dumb ass. This is a CLEAR testament to the fact that I am so not a ladies' man.

See, I had one girlfriend in high school back during freshman year. It lasted a couple of weeks and then we just found out we weren't compatible. We had nothing in common except for being two teenagers who wanted to make out.

That's basically been my history with women. I don't know, I guess I was never very interested after that. Most girls just seemed so boring to me or they would hit on me and say I'm cute but that was about it. Then, right as I really started getting interested in girls again, I turned into a werewolf. Sure, it did wonders to my physique and I got a LOT of coy winks, but it wouldn't do so well in a relationship where I couldn't say anything about my true self:

'_Are you cheating on me?'_

'_No! Why would you think that?'_

'_Well when we're hanging out you get up and leave after you get a call, you are gone all hours of the night, and when you answer your phone you sound out of breath and I swear once I heard a girl's voice in the background!'_

That wouldn't go over so well. Also, having a long term and serious relationship wouldn't be good when you don't age and you constantly run a temperature of 108°. Sure, I could avoid all that if I gave up phasing. Truthfully, though, I wasn't ready to give up being a wolf especially when there was no one worthwhile to do that for just yet.

And I know what you're thinking, I could just wait to imprint. But seriously, I wasn't too thrilled about that. I'm sure you felt happy after you imprinted but I didn't want to turn into a total slave for some girl I didn't know. I think love is stronger when you have a choice. When you have all the power in the world to leave, it makes it that more apparent that you love that person when you stay. I was happy having my free will, as were others.

Some of the guys seemed to do fine with women except for the fact that nothing was long term. When I was in Sam's pack, I would get the rundown of every guy's sexual conquest. It was absolute torture. It got better once I switched packs but that didn't negate the fact that I was a twenty year old virgin that exploded into fur on his spare time.

That brings us to the fact that my luck with women has sucked and is continuing to get worse. Case and point: I'm standing naked in front of Leah….and not in the good way.

_Think, Call, think!_ I yelled at myself.

It feels like hours go by while I'm awkwardly standing there, trying to figure out how to spin this embarrassing situation. In reality, I was probably there all of five seconds. Thank god for wolf senses because above average thinking speed was coming in handy right about now.

So, at last, after wracking my idiotic and hormone muddled canine brain, I thought: _Ok, do the manly thing…CANNON BALL!_

I took three large running strides over to a little ledge that jutted out over the water, jumped, tucked my knees to my chest, and landed in the water about a foot away from Leah.

I hit the water hard. Even from beneath the water's surface, I could tell I had caused a tidal wave with my little stunt, but there was no time to pump up my frat boy ego right now.

When I surfaced (after failing to keep my eyes closed in the water as to not look at Leah's smoking hot body), she was wading in the water, glaring at me. Her hair had been swept across her face and was now plastered to her sharp features. She stiffly took her hand to her hair that was impairing her sight and harshly wiped it away.

"Took you long enough, Call. Very graceful, by the way." She said with sarcasm as she turned and swam in the other direction.

I brushed my damp locks out of my face as well: _nice save. She forgot the fact that she caught you ogling her earlier, _I thought to myself.

That got me thinking: why was I ogling her?

I wrote it off as hormones.

We spent the next ten minutes just swimming around in different directions, reveling in the sensation of the cool October water on our scorching hot skin. I tried not to, but I kept staring at her and luckily she was acting like I didn't exist. She seemed so calm and peaceful; I had never seen her like that. Seeing her with a tranquil look on her face rather than a scowl was refreshing and lovely. I felt so at home and even happy looking at her like this that I wondered what would happen if I ever saw her smile.

_This is a story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world. And while she looks so sad in photographs, I absolutely loved her when she smiles!_

While I sang this song in my head, I absent-mindedly started to whistle it too. Apparently I was whistling loud enough to be heard over the babble of water from the river because Leah started to hum along to the tune. Her face was still totally emotionless but I was grinning ear to ear as I continued to whistle. As I started going through all the lyrics, I realized how much it related to her. In my mind, it would forever be Leah's song.

I slowly made it to a shallower part of the river where I could stand and the water was mid chest height.

I was thinking of getting out when I saw Leah carelessly float to the surface of the water on her back and she started to drift. Now, I really couldn't help myself.

"Wow… well that gives new meaning to the phrase 'breast stroke'" I said as cocky and snarky as I could manage while swallowing my resurfacing lust.

She immediately dipped her body back in the water, turned, and glared at me for the hundredth time today. "Ok, Call. That's it! You're gonna get it!" she yelled at me as she swam towards my direction.

_Oh, please do,_ I thought at I edged a little more into water, widened my stance, brought my hands palm up, splashed up some water, and called, "bring it on, bitch!"

Ok….I have NO fucking idea where all this confidence came from and I REALLY hope it doesn't get me killed!

She started swimming faster towards me after my foolish comment and she hit me with enough force to knock me back a few steps. I don't know why this was her move of choice, though. It would be a little awkward to be wrestling in our state of undress. However, I forgot this as I quickly grabbed her by the shoulders to pull her from me. When I let her go, I swiftly began to tickle her sides, being very careful as not to touch ANYTHING else.

I was really surprised that she was that ticklish, it seems like such a girly attribute that I never expected Leah to possess. She was laughing and I relished in the fact that I was getting her to smile. I had gotten a bit deeper in the water while trying to keep her with in my reach and in order to avoid getting kicked by her. We got in the water deep enough so I was in the water almost to my neck and she was still flailing about.

She finally gasped out between giggles, "stop, EM! Embry, stop!" but in that playful way that girls do. I did as asked but I wasn't able to pull out my hands because she had grabbed a hold of my forearms to keep herself above the water as she tried to catch her breath.

I kept her steady as she caught a hold of her breath again, with her head down to the water. She finally lifted her head and looked into my eyes. My heart melted when I saw she was smiling at me. Her hair was disheveled around her face in soft waves and she was panting heavily in rhythm to her heart beat. I could have stood there and gazed at her forever.

It seemed every time I saw her she was pissed off. Actually, I was sure that ever since Sam left her, she didn't smile once. It had been three years but I bet losing her father and turning into a wolf shortly after made it harder to smile. So seeing her now was something special, like a rose blooming in the dead of winter.

In the short frame of time that I thought all this over, I also had a small and profound notion: _this is what it could be like, you two together. _

Ok, that was weird.

I mean, we had been packmates for almost three years and I'd known her almost my whole life. I'd always found her attractive, who didn't? However, feeling lust for someone when you see them naked and wanting to wake up to their smile every morning are two severely different things. I could deal with wanting to fuck Leah. It was the animal within me and I brushed it off every time I felt the urge, which hadn't happened as bad as today. Her scowls and pissy moods were an immediate cock block. Now, however, she was smiling and all I wanted to do was hold her.

But all these pleasant feelings were quickly poisoned with reality and the thought that she had probably been like this with Sam back in the day.

Sadly, the combination of our close proximity, obvious sexual tension, and heavy breathing got her believing the same thing. It quickly got Leah out of her good mood.

Her beautiful face hastily transformed into that God-awful glower that I was all too accustomed to.

She quickly spit, "you prick" and she tried to knee me in the nuts. Luckily, my manhood had met her knee on several occasions so I was easily able to evade getting neutered.

Now I had a hold of her arms to keep her far enough away from me in order to avoid any damage. She noticed this and said, "Let me the fuck go, Call!"

I let her go; almost shoving her to make sure she didn't retaliate. She just waded there in the water, glaring at me. Then, to my utter horror, she grinned wickedly at me, raised one of her eye brows, and said, "oh, you just wait, you're gonna pay for that."

"Sure, as lovely as that sounds, I think we better go check in with Jake," I said, hopefully distracting her in her attempts to possibly kick my ass.

She huffed and agreed, "fine, we'll tell Jakey-boy that his half-breed imprint it safe for now."

I let her get out of the water before me because I was being a gentleman….and I didn't want my back turned on this crazy chick.

She got her clothes that were resting beneath a tree nearby and put them on while I tried to find the cut offs that I had chucked earlier. I threw them on very quickly as to not expose myself to her forthcoming attack.

We met, fully clothed, by the side of the river. I was floored by the fact that she could look as good clothed as she did naked. Her shirt lightly molded to her shape and her jeans accentuated her ample rear.

Trying to stop staring at her, I shook my hair and ran my hands through. It had been getting quite shaggy lately and I thought about getting a haircut. While mulling all this over, I almost didn't notice Leah staring at me. She had run her fingers through her silky, long hair and was playing with a lock of it while biting her lip. What was even sexier was that she was looking at my half naked body. Her eyes were dangerously and deliciously roaming up and down my torso. I was quite proud of the obvious affect I was having on her. However, when her eyes started to linger further south, my skin felt a little hotter and I needed to distract myself quickly before I jumped her.

This was just getting a little too weird for me. There must have been something about today that got both of us so loopy with lust.

I cleared my throat and she straitened up like someone had just shocked her. I can't believe she was gazing at me like I had done to her earlier. Since she didn't make a big deal out of my peep show, I would show her the same courtesy. In order for her not to feel embarrassed because I caught her in the act, I swiftly said, "well, since we're already clothed, let's just walk there; I don't think it's far."

She snapped her eyes away from me and frigidly looked at me from the corner of her eyes. There was a pause, and then she said, "no… I'll race you!" before she booked it into the forest.

"Shit!" I cursed as I tried to catch up to her. Luckily, even though she was faster than everyone else in the pack in wolf form, she was no match for me on two legs. In no more than a minute I was right next to here.

The lush green forest rushed by me in a blur as I looked over to see Leah keeping stride with me. She looked so determined and powerful as she looked ahead. Her hair whipped and waved wildly behind her in the grace of running. As wonderful as it was to look at her in this act, I picked up the pace just a bit and I passed her.

I smiled triumphantly when I knew I had this race in the bag, even after getting a late start. I turned back to look at her and I smiled even wider when I saw her working hard to catch up with that evil scowl on her face again. I turned my head and looked ahead; dodging some trees and judging how much farther we had to run. I looked back to check on Leah but to my surprise, she wasn't there.

I skidded to a halt and looked around franticly, wondering where the hell she could have gone. I had a VERY bad feeling about this. I expected to be pounced on by a giant grey wolf any minute and I contemplated phasing before she could get to me. I didn't get to do more than that when I all of a sudden I felt a pair of small, warm hands begin to tickle my sides from behind.

As I squirmed and laughed, I turned around to find Leah harassing me with her fast fingers. I bent, ducked, and tried to shirk off her tickle attack but I was no match for her. She kept assaulting me and I kept trying to back away. She was advancing and I got so distracted that my big, uncoordinated feet tripped on a root that was sticking out from the mossy earth. Oh but that did not stop her. She got on the ground next to me and tickled me some more. Then, like all tickling gets at a certain point, it started to hurt and I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.

I pulled the same shit she did before, "stop, Leah! LEE!!! Stoooop iiiit!"

She didn't stop. Of course she didn't. This was Leah. I wasn't surprised.

So I did the only thing that I thought would stop her. I quickly caught her wrists with both of my hands and flipped her onto her back. I put her hands over her head and put both of them in one of my own. I was hovering over her, with my right leg between both of hers and the other kneeling by her right leg to keep myself from crushing her.

I took the hand that was free and wagged my finger at her, "nuh uh uh, Leah, keep your hands to yourself" I said with a chastising smile on my features.

She was squirming still as she retorted, "oh shut it, Call! You had it coming! You really didn't think I would let you beat me in a race, did you? You're soooooo gullible!"

By now, she had stopped jostling around and she just stared at me in annoyance as we both evened out our breathing.

_Look into her eyes; keep your eyes on her eyes!_ I kept chanting to myself because I didn't want her to catch me watching her breasts rise and fall underneath that thin, cream colored tank top or what a chick would call a "cami." _Why does she insist on going bra-less all the time?!_ In any other situation where my nuts weren't in perfect range of being kicked up my throat, I would have looked, but right now wasn't that time. As soon as that thought ran across my mind, it seemed to have gone through hers too because she looks downward and her knee made a teasing twitch. She surprised me again by not taking advantage of my obvious vulnerability and stupidity but I was no less than terribly grateful. I could see that I wouldn't get more than one pardon as she gave me an evil smirk because she knew how easily she could have me curled up in the fetal position on the ground.

I narrowed my eyes at her and said, "oh no! I'm not going to give you a chance to do that!" So I decided to quickly move the other leg between her legs. Why did I do this instead of just moving my right leg on the outside of her? Well, at that moment, it was just a knee-jerk reaction. I didn't know why then but I can tell you I know why now.

You can guess.

So now, she was basically straddling me, I was closer to her after repositioning myself, I still had her hands pinned, and my other hand was by her side, keeping me up. For some odd reason, our breathing didn't slow down like I thought it would after we stopped. Her features slackened and he eyes went wide, studying my face. My heart was racing and with my wolf hearing I could hear hers beating fast too. Annoying and yet very excited butterflies were rapidly flapping their wings within my stomach. I was telling myself that I felt this way because it had been such a long time since I had been this close to a woman. In actuality, it was something more, but I wasn't able to admit it to myself just yet.

It took me all the power I had not to take my free hand and run it up her thigh. _God, her shorts make Daisy Duke look prude but in a very sexy, not slutty, way._ While trying not to ravage her on the forest floor, I just focused on her breathing and memorized the lines of her face including her beautiful jade hued hazel eyes. I really hoped that she was thinking the same things as I was. After all, she didn't kick me in the nuts, her heart was beating fast too, and she seemed as enraptured with me as I was with her at that moment. I couldn't seem to figure out why neither of us pulled away. Mainly, I couldn't fathom why she wasn't throwing me off her. Sure, I had her pinned, but we both knew she was more than capable to kick my ass even now. On the other hand, my brain was yelling at me to _get up! This is a BAD idea._ I shut off my brain for a minute, I was in the zone.

At this distance I was highly aware of her smell. It smelt like lavender, mid afternoon right before it rained, and a hint of cedar. It was all around me and it was intoxicating me along with all of the other wonderful things I was noticing about her from this position. Her thighs we so soft, her lips were so pouty, her eyes were hooded and intense, her hair was gracefully fanned out behind her, her tits were pressing up against my chest every time she took a breath, and I felt more than just physical and sexual attraction. It felt right, I felt comfortable.

Without thinking, so much so that it felt like a natural reflex, I began to lean in for a kiss.

This was another point in my life where I had NO idea why I was getting away with my very rash (and now hormone crazed) actions without some sort of repercussion.

Both of our hearts sped up in a steady and in sync rhythm. I heard her breath hitch as my lips came within an inch of hers. My stomach clenched and made the butterflies in my stomach seem a lot bigger.

Her sweet breath fanned once more against my face just as I was about to connect my lips to hers.

*********

Yeah! A cliffy! lol

Hope you liked it!

FYI: my semester is wrapping up which means a lot of projects and homework so don't get mad if it takes me a little longer to update in the next couple of weeks.

Another question to my awesome readers: Would you be interested in me writing from Leah's perspective? I mean, I love Embry's mind but I don't know if I have the right frame of reference to be speaking from a guy's point of view.

Reviews are love!

Tell your friends!

Thanks!


	5. Confusion is an Understatement

A/N

OH MY GOD! You have no idea how much I love all the reviews! You guys are so supportive and fantastic it hurts!

Here's a new chapter for you!!!!!!!!!

* * *

_Her sweet breath fanned once more against my face just as I was about to connect my lips to hers._

OWWWWOOOOOOOOOH!!!

A howl broke the engaging silence between us and the forest.

The progress I had made in my proximity to her was wiped away immediately. As an automatic response to the call, I quickly yet disappointingly lifted my face away from hers and looked towards where we heard the noise. I also had let go of my grip on her wrists above her head and moved my hand parallel to the other.

I really didn't know what to expect when I turned to face her again. I was just hoping she wouldn't head butt me.

To my shock, her head was off the ground and, with her hands no longer restrained, she had propped herself up on her elbows. She was looking in the direction that I had only a moment ago.

She moved to face me again and she misjudged our closeness as I had. The tip of her nose brushed mine and she gasped lightly when our eyes met. For the second time that day, I was an inch away from kissing Leah. My luck just couldn't get better today. Boy, was I right.

With a speed that caught even me by surprise, her expression turned to extreme rage and she swiftly put her hands to my chest. Using all her force, she shoved me off of her. I was propelled a foot off the ground and a few feet away from where I had been over her earlier. My ass hit the ground with a resounding thud.

She stood up quickly and in front of me. Hovering over me, she looked down with her fists clenched. She took a heavy breath and moved forward. She opened her mouth like she wanted to say something but she snapped it shut, shook her head, and looked to the sky in frustration. I just laid there motionless with a blank stare at her face. I was waiting for her to do something and I wanted to be fully alert when I had to defend myself. It seemed like she was battling her own demons instead of physically confronting me, so I kept my dam mouth shut.

Turning her eyes to me again, she put her hands on her hips. Her nostrils flared in frustration, she pointed a finger at me, and she looked like she was going to speak. In the end, though, she gave up. She looked so hot when she was all flustered and angry like that. Ok, now I really have to stop that.

She huffed, turned, and stormed off towards the Cullens' home.

Even after being swiftly rejected, I still had the audacity to think: _hate to see her go, love to watch her leave, _as she walked away from me. I was shook out of my observation after realizing that she didn't phase. That was odd.

I couldn't leave it like this. We needed to talk. All these new developments were eating at me.

"Leah!" I called.

Even though she was about 20 yards away, I could audibly hear her growl but she kept walking away from me. I scrambled to catch up to her. I didn't want to run and seem desperate so I lightly jogged towards her until we were even.

I didn't know what to say nor was I sure that I should say anything. She looked like stone or what you would call very VERY pissed off.

I stopped looking at her profile and I gazed ahead, wracking my brain for something to say. Should I get her mind off of what just happened? Should I bring out and resolve what just passed between us?

While I was thinking all this over, I didn't estimate my proximity to her too well. I absentmindedly brushed my hand against her while my arms swung naturally by my sides. I could guess that this would annoy her but I didn't foresee such a large reaction.

She swung her body around mid stride and for a flash I thought she was going to punch me across the face. Instead, she grabbed me by the throat and threw me up against a tree we had just passed.

I was a couple inches off the ground and it's easy to say that this is not how I wanted to be backed up against a tree by Leah. She glared at me and simply but fiercely said, "Don't. Fucking. Touch Me."

She luckily released her hold around my neck before I turned blue in the face. I landed on my knees beneath the tree, caught my breath, and rubbed my sore neck. For the second time today I was watching Leah storm off while I was sitting like an idiot on the forest floor. This time, I decide not to catch up with her. I learned my lesson.

I just sat there for a while, let myself lose sight of her, and felt like a complete dumb ass. I really did not know she was going to do that. I had done way worse than just brush her hand today. I definitely had it coming but I was worried about her. She only ever got that up in arms and violent when it came to deep emotional stuff. She never let anyone into her heart anymore.

A couple minutes after she left I got up as I heard a rustling amongst the ferns and bushes ahead of me. I stood rigid and got ready for a fight. I saw the head of a sandy colored wolf pop up from behind a tree. _Sometimes my life feels like a cartoon._

Seth opened his mouth and barked at me, smiling. I waved at him awkwardly then he ducked back behind the tree. I heard the familiar sound of him phasing back and throwing on his cut offs.

He reappeared in his human form and said, "hey Em! We were looking everywhere for you and Leah." I discretely swallowed the lump in my throat and reemerging butterflies in my stomach at the mention of her name. He continued, not noticing the tension coming off me in waves, "I told Jake that everything was clear and we didn't find anything. However, he insisted that that I howl for you guys to talk about a new patrolling schedule. He's really worried."

I stretched my neck to the side and felt where Leah's hands were gripped prior. I was a little distracted as I responded, "ummmm…yeah well for once I think I'll be betting against Alice. We didn't find a trace of anything and they really have no need to check up on them again. It's been about what?... almost 3 years since they showed up. That's only equivalent to a day in vampire time. He's got nothing to worry about."

I walked past him and headed towards where Jake was probably worrying away on his doggy bed. _When did I become so bitter and negative?_ Maybe it happened when I realized that I had feelings for Leah. _Woah…when the fuck did that happen?_

I was lost in thought and didn't really notice Seth walking next to me. He apparently didn't detect much either. He had a smile on his face and a spring in his step, I noticed this much. He must have gotten over his little bitch fit from earlier today. I wonder what will happen when he comes face to face with Quil again.

One of the reasons I didn't mind Seth was because he was ok with silence. Not only did it not bother him, he never made it awkward. He was always smiling and charging the silence with positive energy. However, this kept him from seeing when people didn't want to talk. He was so wrapped up in his own optimism that he couldn't see the thoughtful cloud over my head that said, 'DO NOT DISTURB'.

"So, where's Leah?" he asked, stealing needed silence from me.

My heart skipped a beat without my permission at the mention of her name. I cleared my throat, my mouth suddenly felt very dry. "Uh, she…she," I stuttered as I pointed my finger lazy in the direction in front of us, and sighed heavily "headed to the Cullens' when she heard you howl."

"Huh… that's odd. Were you with her?" he inquired innocently as he peered at my face.

Shit…I knew this was going to come up eventually. This is one of the things I wanted to talk about with Leah before she had me pinned against a tree. I knew we weren't going to talk about the very intimate position we found ourselves in today, that was a no brainer. But would it go to the extent of telling our pack that we hadn't been around each other all day? Would she follow along with whatever I said or would she accuse me of lying?

Fuck it all. I decided to go with the hollow version of the truth and if she tried to deny it, I would blackmail her with the whole truth. The sexual frustration must have been getting to me because I wasn't going to deal with her shit.

"Yeah, we swam in the river like she had offered and when we got out, we were headed towards Jake. Then we heard you howl and we both headed towards you but she went faster than me. I didn't feel like racing." _Not to mention I had your sexy vixen of a sister pinned beneath me as I was planning to ravage her._ I could tell that comment wouldn't go over too well. Seth may have always been kind and friendly but I learned today that he had a protective brother side. If he verbally tore Quil a new one for just bad mouthing her, imagine what he would do to me if he found out what I wanted to do to her.

Even though I had cleared up my story, Seth looked a bit confused still. He looked sideways at me, "she didn't phase?"

I didn't understand why he was so curious, "well did you hear her in your mind before you saw me?" He shook his head so I continued, "then she didn't phase. Why does it matter?"

Seth was staring straight ahead again with a puzzled look on his face, "I don't know. I mean, I know Leah. I thought she would have phased immediately."

Now I was looking perplexed as well.

"The howl didn't seem urgent and she must have known it was you, being your sister and all. Should we have phased?"

"No, no. You're right, it wasn't urgent. But she usually phases so she can check in and doesn't have to go to 'Leech Land' as she calls it. What would she be trying to hide?" He said the last sentence in a whisper, probably only to himself.

By now, I could see and smell the mansion not very far from us. I tried to level this out before I saw Leah again, "why would she be hiding anything? Maybe she didn't feel like phasing."

Seth looked at me like I was an idiot when he said, "have you met my sister, Call? She loves the freedom of her wolf form and she hates the Cullens. Why would she stay human AND walk to their house if she wasn't trying to hide anything?"

It all made sense now. She was hiding her thoughts. For a brief moment I thought of Edward's gift. He would be able to hear her thoughts, so why would she risk having him know? This was quickly forgotten as I reminded myself that Edward was very good at keeping secrets. So, she didn't want anyone from our pack, especially her brother to see what (almost) happened in the woods today. At first I felt like she was ashamed and probably hated me. However, if she hated me and resented what happened, she would be fine with letting everyone know so they could kick my ass and make fun of me. Also, she didn't back away or put up a fight when I leaned in for a kiss. My heart soared at the thought that she would have let me kiss her if we hadn't been interrupted and she wanted us to kiss.

I had a dumb grin that mirrored Seth's as we got to the porch of the house. I was so happy, I didn't even see Edward open the door and Seth greet him.

I was only taken out of my stupid joy when I heard Edward chuckle at me. I looked up at him to see him smiling up at me knowingly. My smile turned into a grimace. He whispered so only I could hear, "Jasper thought he felt puppy love coming our way. We're just surprised it was coming from you and more so who it is for." He raised his eyebrows and said, "however I can't say I didn't know this was going to happen sooner or later."

I frowned at him and thought, _you couldn't give me fair warning? I was totally blind sighted by my own feelings…this sucks. _

Edward shook his head lightly and said, "you'll be fine pup," he looked over his shoulder covertly to where Leah was sitting on the couch, looking uncomfortable. He finished, "trust me."

_Trusting a leech…that's new, _I told him. _Anyways, it's really nothing. She's my packmate not to mention my superior. Nothing's going to happen._

"But you are thinking about it?" he said, looking at me with conviction.

Before I could say something mentally or otherwise, Jake came over and walked past Edward. "Embry! What took you so long? Come on, we need to talk about patrol, we'll fill Quil in later."

I followed Jake willingly, thankful for the distraction from Edward's knowing stare and intrusion within my mind. Giving up on me, Edward went out the door probably to go to the cottage with Nessie and Bella. I didn't care, as long as I was off the hook.

We walked into the living room where Seth was lounging comfortably on the couch next to Leah who was up straight, on the edge of her seat. Her nostrils were flared and her eyes shifted from side to side in their sockets as she drummed her fingers against her leg in boredom and nervousness. I could tell that being in a vampire's house was getting to her and not only because of the smell. In the two or so years since she became Jacob's pack member, I don't think I had ever seen her actually sitting on a couch in the Cullens' home.

Even though things weren't quite normal at this time, I tried to act like they were. I sat next to Leah because I didn't think she would make a scene in public if I touched her accidently and her scent would calm me down or at least help with the overly sweet vampire stink.

I didn't even know it was possible but Leah actually stiffened more and her hand stopped its twitching once I sat down next to her. Now I wasn't so sure if she wouldn't make a scene. She seemed very tense.

I was as far away from her as I could be on the couch and I leaned back for comfort.

Jacob started to speak, "Ok, so now we're all here and accounted for, except for Quil." Jake sat down on the couch opposite of us and puts he elbows on his knees, "he called and said he had to watch Claire while her mom went out to do some shopping. I want to get this over with," he paused for a moment, looking at the ground. I had a feeling he was waiting for Leah to make some smart comment about him needing to spent time with his 'creepy half-breed tween imprint' but she just sat there, completely silent and unreadable. A bit confused but happy without the intrusion, Jake went on, "so you three can fill him in when you get back to La Push."

For a couple minutes Jake went on and on about what Alice saw and how we're going to have to step it up a notch in our patrolling. I was absently listening but really I was spacing out. I was just thinking about what happened, mainly about Leah's behavior. She was acting really odd, really…soft. While I let my mind race, I relaxed a bit more on the couch. I slumped a bit, let my legs go limp, and made sure I didn't touch Leah. I put my left arm on the sofa rest then took my right and swung it over the back of the couch. I hated having my arms by my side while sitting down, it felt tight and unnatural.

By this time I was REALLY not listening to Jake as I noticed Leah tense a bit again. _This woman is going drive me crazy! I didn't even touch her! _I thought. I saw her intake a deep breath as I held mine. Once she did that, she immediately relaxed.

Confusion set in. How would the stink of vampires calm her? Then I figured it out, when I moved my arm to the back of the sofa, I moved the air and my scent with it. This told me a couple things: 1) I didn't have B.O., 2) my smell must have been a relief from the bloodsuckers' sweet odor, and 3) she was calmed by my scent as I was with hers. I could sense her perfume as clear as day from here, not as well as before, but still enough for it to make me feel better. Did she feel the same way?

This was getting to be too much for me. I needed to stay away from her. If spending one day with Leah could make my feelings do a horrifying one-eighty, I didn't want to stick around her any longer to see what could happen. I know you may be thinking that I was being insensitive or irrational. I wasn't. I knew she could never feel the same way, which scared me. But what was even more terrifying and unbearable to imagine would be if she did. I certainly didn't want to be the man to break her again if I ever imprinted. I was hoping that I would imprint really soon or she would at least be too damaged to ever reciprocate my sudden emotions towards her. So I decided I would stay away from her, far away.

I decided to pull my attention back to Jake. By now he should be saying something important.

"So, with all this information I've decided to bump up and change patrolling. Seth, you and Quil will take afternoon duty from 3 pm to 3 am since you both have school. Leah and Embry, you two will patrol from 3 am to 3 pm since you both have work or class at night" said Jake.

Fuck! Well my plan is not going to work so well now.

Jake continued despite the distraught look on my face, "I'll be here and I will check in or can be called at any time if needed. We're done here unless you guys have any questions."

I wasn't going to stand up and demand to have patrolling with someone else because I had feelings for Leah. I just hung my head and kept my mouth shut. I barely noticed Leah shoot out of her seat and glare at Jacob.

"What the hell, Black? Has spending too much time around this stench fried all of your brain cells?!" yelled Leah.

_Oh, so that's where all the insults went_, I thought.

She kept going, "for your information, we have lives other than guarding your Bella and her brood! And why do I have to be stuck with Embry?!"

My head snapped up, _say what now?!_

"We can switch it up a bit. I get along fine with Quil and Seth."

Jake looked at her with annoyance as he pinched the bridge of his nose and stood up in front of her probably to gain the height advantage. He was going to need every weapon in his arsenal to get her to back off.

"Leah, you do NOT get along with Quil. Seth told me what happened today. Also, I think you and your brother could spend some time apart, not to mention his schedule is opposite yours. He's missed enough school and is tired enough as it is. Besides Seth, you get along with Embry the best," explained Jake.

I snorted and thought, _if only he knew. _Luckily, everyone besides Leah thought that my reaction meant that we hated one another, not a hint to this afternoon.

Jake turned to me, "Embry, has Leah been giving you any problems?"

That was a loaded question. Yes, but not in the way he meant. I was a bit flustered with the sudden attention, "ummmm….not…n-not really…"

Jake smiled triumphantly, "Well then Leah, it's settled, you'll be patrolling with Embry until I say otherwise. I'll be filling in for Quil with Seth until he gets back. I'll be seeing you to at 3 am then?"

He smirked at Leah and folded his arms across his chest in a clear sign of power.

Leah was about a foot shorter than Jake and the rest of us, but she could definitely take him. She had the look in her eye that showed she was thinking the same.

"FINE" she gritted out from her bared teeth. She turned and stormed out of the house, not bothering to even slam the door behind her.

Jakes expression softened, "she'll be fine, she needs some rest is all. Anything happen today I should be aware of, Embry?" he looked towards me. I still had my eyes focused on where Leah's retreating form was only a moment ago.

_Maybe…_ I thought as my head slowly turned to meet Jake's gaze. I couldn't help but to pull up the memory of having her pinned beneath her and almost having my lips on hers.

I blinked a few times to get the image out of my head before finally puffing out my cheeks and exhaling a large breath to say, "uh, no, not at all, Jake."

He looked at me wearily. We had been friends and had the ability to read each other's thoughts long enough to judge what the other was thinking in human form. Thankfully, Jake let it go.

"Ok, well I'll see you later then. Howl if Leah doesn't show or gets rebellious" he told me.

"Yeah, sure," I said negligently as I got up and headed to the front door. I stopped right outside of it and took a deep breath.

I felt an ice cold touch on my shoulder. I stiffened but ignored my animal instinct to strike, I knew it was just Jasper by the smell.

He came up next to me and spoke, "Edward reminds himself and me never to interfere, as we shouldn't. However, I can tell that I should let you know what she was feeling…" but he never got to finish.

I prevented him, "don't tell me, it would be best if I didn't know. Edward is right."

With that, I left for home with what felt like the world on my shoulders.

* * *

No kiss…..yet….

Poor poor Embry

Leah is sooooo confusing sometimes. Oh, by the way, I listened to all your reviews and I'm thinking of writing another fanfic. It'll basically be the same story but from Leah's perspective, it'll come in handy later, trust me.

Oh, another question to my AWESOME readers: I don't know if reading too much Leah fan fiction has altered my recollection of the books but didn't Harry have a heart attack because Leah phased for the first time? See, I just saw New Moon and they showed Harry die because he was attacked. I just wanted to clarify that if I am to write Leah's story.

And there will be a song list for the chapters so far either on my profile or on this fic.

Reviews are love!

Tell your friends!


	6. New Realizations of Old Feelings

A/N

Here's a treat, you guys! Since all of you are all such great people, giving me lots of love and reviews, I decided to update a little sooner than usual.

Without further interruption, here is something to read over your weekend!

* * *

I walked through my front door after coming back from our pack meeting. I felt so lost.

Had I always found Leah so attractive?

_Well sort of…I mean she never really made it easy for me to admire her._

Why have my feelings changed so drastically?

_I don't know. It was like seeing her for the first time. Thinking about it now gives me those stupid butterflies!_

I was so wrapped up in my own queries that I didn't smell dinner nor notice what mom was cooking. That was very odd for me. Werewolves eat non-stop. I was no exception. I had actually noticed lately that I had been eating more. Even so, food was the last thing on my mind right now.

Standing at the stove, mom turned to face me with a huge smile on her face and said, "hey sweetie! How was your…" she didn't get to finish as she took in my disheveled appearance and gaunt expression. She dropped the wooden spoon she had been using and rushed over to me. Taking my face in her hands, she brought my eyes level to hers. I closed my eyes in protest. I loved my mother but I didn't feel comfortable talking to her about such things, especially when I wasn't clear on what I was feeling at the moment.

She just stood there, lovingly cradling my jaw within her kind palms until I finally gave in. I breathed out a long heavy sigh before opening my eyes to look at hers. They were so soft and concerned, it was almost painful. This woman had kept me safe and happy for my whole life. She knew me so well that she could read me like a book. I felt guilty that I made her so concerned but even more so because I just couldn't tell her the whole truth.

I smiled weakly, hoping to satisfy her enough to get her off my case. She looked at me with a slight glare and stubbornly kept standing there in front of me.

I took her small, cold hands in mine and brought them down between us. I managed to smile more brightly as I said, "my day was fine, mom," I kissed her hands tenderly and continued, "really. I'm going to get changed and I'll be down when you call me for supper, ok?"

She didn't look completely convinced but she took my obvious evasiveness as a hint and dropped her hands by her sides. She made a small sigh, "ok, baby boy." Her nickname for me made me cringe a bit, I no longer felt like a small child but I would forever be that for her. She took one of her hands and brought it to the side of my face again, "you can tell me anything and I'll listen" she finished.

I nodded and she dropped her hand as she turned to finish dinner.

_Bullet dodged,_ I thought as I made it to my room on the first floor. I opened the door and just stood at the foot of my bed, thinking. Those fucking butterflies were still soaring throughout the pit of my stomach and images of Leah were etched on every plain of my mind. I was emotionally and physically drained. With a soft thud, I fell face first onto my bed.

Since my major growth spurt, I was much too long for my bed. Thus, when I fell, my head hit the pillows immediately, with no readjusting from me. I turned my head to the side so I could breathe.

I looked out of my open window, to the sky. I searched for answers there but found none.

My mind was at war with my body. I couldn't like Leah. It was impossible. I had known her my whole life and been her pack mate for a very long time but I had never felt this way before. On the other hand, my heart was beating for her and every nerve ending in my body was begging to reach out and touch her.

I took long, low deep breaths. I tried to think of something else.

Still looking out the window, I thought of what I saw there. _Crisp October weather, leaves hitting the water…the river, Leahs naked body._

_DAMMIT!_

I tried again to think of something else so I sang one of my favorite songs in my head: _heading down south to the land of the pines, I'm thumbing way into north Caroline, staring up the road and pray to God I see headlights… Rock me mama like a wagon wheel, rock me mama any way you feel, hey hey mama rock me._

That got my mind wandering to other things:

_Summer time_

_The beach._

_Leah in that white dress at the last bonfire._

_WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!_

Leah was everywhere. Her presence followed me around like a ghost. The memory of my day and everything that had happened haunted me in the same respect. There was no getting rid of her.

Before I knew it, mom called me to dinner.

I hauled my lazy ass off my bed. I felt like I had to peel myself off of the covers. I really didn't want to face my mom again. She knew me too well and she could get me to crack so easily.

I walked in with a smile on my face. I was hoping that this would distract her and keep her from prying.

She looked at me incredulously, "oh no young man. You're not going to get away with coming in here from work looking like someone just ran over your dog. Let's talk."

My smile fell because I had to talk to her and she thought I was at work. I hated being dishonest with her.

I grabbed a plate and piled on the food. I didn't even bother to notice what I was about to eat.

I plopped down in my seat and started shoveling food into my mouth. My mother, as usual, took a small portion and sat down next to me. I could feel her eying me curiously from the side as I ate ferociously. I personally didn't feel hungry but I knew my body needed sustenance and my mother would be less likely to question me if I looked busy.

In my hurry and haze of thinking, I hadn't realized that I didn't really chew any of the food in my mouth. I finally figured this out right before I was going to choke and so I sat there like an idiot, chewing and chewing. I heard my mother snicker next to me and I nudged her playfully. She shook her head in mirthful disappointment and kept eating at a reasonable pace.

Once I swallowed, I got up to get seconds but I learned to go a bit slower this time.

We were silent the whole time but I knew I wasn't in the clear. My mother was a smart woman; she knew when to strike and how to get information out of anyone. The only reason she didn't find out I was a werewolf was because I was bound by alpha law to keep my mouth shut. I even begged Jake to lift the command since he was my Alpha now. He wouldn't budge, though. He had the same belief that keeping the secret from as many people as possible was best.

I finished my second helping and went for my third. Once I sat down my mother turned slightly to get a better look at me. She just stared at me as I ate. I kept looking at her from the corner of my eye, she was making me feel a bit uncomfortable but I kept eating. She looked like she was waiting for something… waiting to strike. Then, as soon as I chewed and swallowed my first bite, she said, "close your eyes."

I looked at her with utter confusion and shock, "what?"

She looked me straight in the eyes and repeated herself, "close your eyes."

Skeptically, I did as she said. After I had, she continued, "what did you just eat three helpings of?"

I started to open my eyes in protest but she countered, "bup bup bup!" she clapped her hand over my eyes, "answer my question young man."

I tried to find a hint from the flavors in my mouth but it could have been anything from rice and beans to meat loaf. I sighed in defeat, "I don't know…"

She took her hand off my eyes and crossed her arms across her chest. I looked down and felt very guilty. She had made me pot roast, my favorite, and I hadn't even noticed. I turned and pouted at her as she raised her eyebrows at me. I apologized, "mom, I'm sorry, I didn't notice that you….thank you."

She sported a small smile, "its fine, sweetie, you don't have to be sorry. I would just like to know what has got you so distracted that you hadn't noticed."

I hesitantly took another bit and thought of what to say next. She just patiently sat there with her empty plate in front of her.

I sighed heavily; I was not going to win this battle. I had lost the moment it began.

So I started to spill: "well there is this girl…"

The minute those words left my lips my mom made a happy and surprised little gasp that made me nervous.

"oh honey! Who is she? Do I know her? Have you kissed her yet?" she squealed out.

_Oh great, she's gone into gossip mode._ I couldn't tell her who it was. I was going to have to be vague.

After taking another bite, I rubbed my neck in annoyance and nervousness, "ummmm, she's not from the rez, you don't know her, and I haven't kissed her yet. I'm not even sure if I like her."

Her smile faltered a bit, "what do you mean you don't know if you like her? I know you, sweetie, and you are love sick. I haven't seen you like this since Leah…"

_What? _

That caught me off guard, I almost choked on the piece of beef I had just put in my mouth.

I had never had feelings for Leah nor had I talked to mom about it….ever. I told her this, "mom, I've never liked Leah! Where did you get that from?"

She looked at me knowingly, "oh, it was when you were much younger, a freshman in high school, I think. She was the nicest and prettiest girl. I could tell how you looked at her when I dropped you off at school and how sad you were when you found out she was with Sam. I didn't say anything because I knew it was just a school boy crush on an older girl."

I was totally taken aback. My mother knew me better than I knew myself. I remember it now. That's right before I had my first girlfriend; she became my distraction from the puppy love I guess.

That tightening in my chest returned just thinking about Leah and even more so when mom used the past tense to describe her as 'pretty' and 'nice'. My heart ached for her.

It also felt surreal that the only time my mother had ever realized I was hung up on a girl was when I was crushing on Leah. She didn't even pick up on my relationship with that other girl at school.

_Huh….odd._

My mother pulled me out of my reverie, "anyways, hun, that was the past. What about this other girl? Why has she got you so confused?"

That was a good question.

I tried to answer the best I could without giving anything away, "well, uh….I d-don't know. She's way out of my league. I've also known her for quite a while but I only now felt anything for her. It sounds really lame but I get that tightening in my chest and butterflies in my stomach… I feel so embarrassed."

She looked at me tenderly, almost pitying me as she said, "there is nothing to be ashamed about. You really like this girl. Stop trying to lie to yourself; it will make the ache worse. I'd ask her out and see where it leads."

I rolled my eyes. Everything seemed so simple to my mother. That didn't surprise me though since I told her the situation in the simplest way possible without any baggage.

"I'd love to do that, mom, but it's a lot more complicated than that," I huffed out in defeat.

Smiling softly at me she put her hand on mine that was resting on the table and said, "it doesn't have to be complicated unless you make it so. I just want to see you happy."

I didn't want to make it complicated, it just was. I didn't want to risk my feelings or ever jeopardize hurting Leah if I imprinted.

I nodded my head, "yeah, I know, thanks mom." With that, I gave her a side hug to let her know I loved her and the heartfelt advice. She grinned and stood up, taking both of our plates off the table and brought them to the sink.

Sensing her work was done for now she decided to change the subject, "well, in other news concerning affairs of the heart: Jared and Kim's wedding is next month."

I got up and went to the sink to dry off the dishes she had washed.

"Oh really? I'm guessing I have to go, right?" I said in an annoyed tone. I hated weddings, especially the ones of the imprinted pairs. They were so in love that it was more nauseating than a regular wedding.

She nodded, "oh yes you do. Even better, you're in the wedding."

I almost dropped the glass I was drying in my hand. I had never been in a wedding, not even Sam and Emily's. I wasn't too close to Kim or Jared even though I was his pack mate at one point.

I had the most confused look on my face, "what?! I don't… he and I were never….why?" I whined out.

She chuckled at my obvious discomfort and disappointment, "well Kim came by earlier this afternoon to ask you but since you weren't here I agreed to it on your behalf. See, Kim is what I call a princess type bride who wants a grand ceremony. That means a huge wedding party that includes all you kids: you, Jake, Quil, Leah, Paul, Rachel, Emily, Sam, and a couple of Kim's friends from school."

I hung my head; this was not going to be fun, "ugh, ok, fine. I guess it won't be all that terrible."

Then she dropped the bomb on me, "oh and you'll have to take ball room dancing lessons with the rest of the wedding party."

_GOD DAMMIT!_

I gave her a pained look and she responded, "oh it won't be that bad like you said. Besides, maybe you'll get paired with one of Kim's friends and they'll distract you from your little problem," she prodded teasingly.

I groaned, "mom, come on…."

"oh relax, sweetie. You'll live. You've known Jared and Kim forever. You can suffer this one day for them."

I sighed deeply, "fine but I'm not buying a new tux!"

She giggled, "oh stop pouting like a two year old. Don't you worry, I already told Kim you had a suit and she had no plans to make you get another one."

Well that was one less problem at least. I was just going to have to face my fate like a man so I let it go.

We finished cleaning up the kitchen and my mother went to the living room.

"You want to join your poor old mother to watch CSI?"

I shook my head, "you are not old, mom. Also, I think I'll pass tonight, I have work early tomorrow morning. I'll just chill in my room and fall asleep early."

"Ok, darling, I'll see you tomorrow, then." I went over and gave her a kiss on the cheek before I walked to my bedroom.

I hit my bed like I had earlier and grabbed my iPod off the side table. I put it on shuffle, hoping that whatever came up would distract me.

Lost by Coldpay, _nope._

Another Day by Jamie Lydell, _ugh, makes me think of Leah._

Let My Love Open the Door by Pete Townsend, _come on! _

I'm Kissing You by Des'ree, _why?!? _

_Ok, who stole my iPod and messed with it? These selections cannot all be a coincidence._

Just the Girl by The Click Five

Untouched by The Veronicas

I Want You to Want Me by Cheap Trick

_Ok this has got to stop! Why is my iPod sending me subliminal messages through song! I get it! I want Leah badly and I might have feelings for her!_

I turned off the darn thing and wrapped the headphones around it then put it back where it came from.

Music wasn't the answer tonight. So I closed my eyes and hoped to fall asleep. Luckily I was so tired that my body gave out earlier than my mind was ready to. I was dropped into a dream the second I left consciousness.

_I am lying on La Push beach on the warm, gritty sand. I'm in the usual just cut-offs and I have my arms under my head, keeping me propped up. My eyes are closed and I don't notice someone sit close to me until I feel their jeans brush against my side._

_The wind picks up and blows towards my face. It's Leah sitting next to me. My eyes shoot open and I melt when I see her smile at me. She leans back to lie on the ground next to me and I take out one of my arms in order to cradle he head._

_This feels so perfect. _

_We lie there in beautiful silence for a while until she shifts her wait to her side. She props herself up on her elbows and squints at me happily. She takes her free hand and trails it up and down my torso. My muscles twitch and I chuckle a bit because I'm ticklish. Giggling lightly at my reaction, she continues her ministrations and begins to dip lower with each stroke. By the time she hits the band of my sweats, my eyes flutter closed and I am very aroused._

_Not being able to take it anymore, I open my eyes and pin her to the ground. It feels like before except this time she squeals and looks happy._

_I settle myself between her legs and with a wicked grin as I go in for a kiss._

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

_Mother fucker…_I groaned internally, as I searched for my cell phone under my pillows. I finally found it after some fumbling and turned off its incessant buzzing. My dreams always end right before the good part! That seems to be the story of my life too…

I lifted my head a bit to peer at my phone through lazy, bloodshot eyes. It read 2:45 am. I closed my eyes in frustration and let my head land back on the pillows heavily.

_Time to get your fury butt out of bed, fido!_ Great, I was insulting myself now, ugh.

I opened my eyes, turned onto my back, and looked begrudgingly at the ceiling. I had to not only get up at an ungodly hour but I also had to deal with Leah. My mind was rolling its eyes: _great, we're tired and we have to deal with that pain in our ass. Weren't we going to stay away from her?_ On the other hand, my heart was doing little back flips: _we get to see Leah, we get to see Leah!_

"Both of you, shut up!" I said out loud but soft enough not to wake my mother in the other room. She was under the impression that I would be heading off to 'work' early but not this early. I doubt she would like it if she found me sneaking out of the house in the morning for the hundredth time since I had phased.

I finally found the will power to sit up and throw my legs over the side of the bed. I sat there for a while with my hands gripping the side of the mattress and my head down. After years of getting up at every time of day, I was still not a morning person. Ok, it was before dawn, but still.

I straightened my spine and rolled my neck. It was no longer sore from her attack but the memory was there. I took one wolf sized yawn and found the strength to get out of bed. I swiftly and soundlessly opened the window. Nimbly, I jumped and landed on the soft earth. I took my phone from the cut offs I had been living in for the last few days and checked the time, 2:50 am. I decided to meet Leah at her house before patrol. Maybe we could straighten some things out before we phased since I couldn't avoid her like I had planned.

I took off towards the Clearwater's house. I knew this town like the back of my hand. I could get there with my eyes closed and I practically did because it was still so dark outside.

I found their house and didn't see any lights on. I made my way around the house, to see if I could find her room. I saw a small desk light dimly illuminating one of the rooms upstairs. There was a tall pine tree outside the window so I climbed up it to get a better look. I got to a level in the branches that was adjacent to what I assumed was her window.

I tested the branch I was about to go out on in order to get closer. It seemed sturdy enough so I went far enough to see inside the small room. I looked around a bit, the room was so…so…Leah. The wall was a light violet, probably picked out when she was a teenager. You could tell because it seemed like she was too lazy to re-paint it so she covered it with poster copied works of art and dark pieces of fabric like curtains. She didn't have many pictures except some of her family on her dresser and side table. After scanning the room in curiosity, I caught a bit of movement out of the corner of the room.

Leah came almost frantically out of the bathroom door there, with only a towel on. Her hair was down in long black waves. She fumbled to find a scrunchie on her dresser. When she did, she put it in her teeth, threw her hair up and secured it. She seemed like she was in a rush. I tore my eyes away and looked at my cell phone, 2:59 am. _Shit, we had better get moving_. I started to inch towards the trunk of the tree until I saw her drop her towel.

In a way of self preservation, I closed my eyes.

_Don't look….DON'T LOOK!!!!! Whatever you do, do not peep. Remember where this got you last time?!_ I yelled at myself. However, I needed my eye sight to get out of this tree.

I slowly opened my eyes, hoping by now she had clothed herself.

I was so wrong.

She stood, naked, in front of her dresser (which was RIGHT in front of the window) while looking for something to wear. My hormones were forcing me to do something very stupid for the second time in one twenty four hour period. I just stared.

I was so enamored by her nude form that I didn't hear the crunching of leaves beneath the tree I was balancing on.

"Embry?" I heard Seth call from below me.

Taken by complete and horrifying surprise, I looked down and in my frantic movements to get down the tree, I lost my balance. I fell back spine first onto the ground. I didn't just land on the mossy earth, either. The small of my back hit the pointed arch of an uprooted branch when I grounded.

* * *

Oh dear, Embry is so clumsy sometimes…or I just like to torture him, teeheehee

Again, thank you all for the wonderful reviews, I take each comment and question to heart.

Reviews are love!

Tell your friends!


	7. So Close

A/N

You guys are awesome! I'm loving the reviews and words of encouragement, keep them coming!

Here you go!

* * *

_Taken by complete and horrifying surprise, I looked down and in my frantic movements to get down the tree, I lost my balance. I fell back spine first onto the ground. I didn't just land on the mossy earth, either. The small of my back hit the pointed arch of an uprooted branch when I grounded. _

It felt like I had been snapped in two.

"God dammit! Son of a…motherfucking….shit…on…a…stick!" I cursed aloud as I was unable to move. I saw stars and it felt like the wind had been knocked out of me too.

Seth, who had been a yard or two away from the tree, rushed to my side. He bent down beside me and said, "oh God, Embry! Are you ok? You took quite a fall."

My teeth were barred in agony as I gritted out, "no problem. It'll heal in no time." It sure as hell didn't feel like it would, but I lied for Seth's sake. The kid cared too much.

"oh…oh, ok Em…but you look like you're in pain…should I go get Carlisle?" he whimpered out when he saw me try to move and I almost howled out in pain.

"No, NO! Don't, I'll be near him during patrol and I'll see him if I still feel some pain. Does that make you feel better?" I asked while trying not to move. Seth had his hands on his knees but I could tell he was itching to help me but he kept his distance because I looked like one movement would put me in pain.

Seth nodded his head, "yeah, yeah it would. I'm so sorry I surprised you like that, man" he looked guilty. Then, because of my terrible luck, he looked suspicious, "what were you doing in that tree anyways… right outside of my sister's window?"

I was hoping at this moment that Seth wasn't the kind of guy to kick a man while he was down. The pain started to subside due to my wolfy healing abilities but I laid it on thick to get out of this situation.

I grimaced again, acting as if I was in worse pain. Seth twitched in horror and went from prying to concern in a second. I fake gritted out, "Seth, ummmm, could you maybe help me up before I answer you?"

"oh, yeah, of course, of course!" he said as he lent a hand to my sorry lying ass.

I lifted my head a bit right as I was about to grasp his outreaching hand, then I heard someone say, "I got it from here, Seth."

The familiar smell of lavender and cedar hit me as I recognized her voice. Seth's head turned and his hand retreated. My head hit the ground in defeat with a loud thud. I stared to the heavens, _why… WHY?!?!?!?!_

I mean, Seth would be mad at me if her knew what I was doing in that tree, but that paled in comparison to what Leah was capable of.

Seth said, "ummmm…ok Leah. He hurt his back really bad. Be careful."

I could hear no hint of malice or mischief as she said, "don't worry, he'll be fine. Seth, go to bed, it's been a long day for you."

I heard Seth's steps go towards the house, "thanks, Lee. I owe you one. I'll see you later, sis."

My pride was keeping me from reaching out my hand and BEGGING him not to leave me with her. I knew doing that would definitely incriminate me. I just lay there like a vegetable, ready to accept my fate. Who knew what kind of torture she had in store for me.

I looked up from where I lay and glared at the branch I had fallen from, _you suck! _I thought, and if I thought no one would see me and think I was certifiable, I would have pointed at it angrily, too.

I heard Seth walk up the porch steps, open the door, and walk into the house. My savior was finally out of site and I closed my eyes, waiting for Leah to do something.

I heard the crunch of her bare feet hitting the ground as she stalked towards me. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. She was standing next to me with her arms crossed over her chest and she was looking towards the road in contemplation. She had been acting so weird lately, I didn't know what to expect.

She tapped her foot in annoyance, took a few more steps towards me, and put her hands on her hips. This got me a better look at her face. Her expression was steely and reserved. Her eyes made their way towards me and I saw no emotion there. I really wondered why she wasn't making me pay; she had to have known I was watching her from that tree.

After staring at me for a view moments, she finally said, "your back healed yet?" Before I could respond she added, "Seth is gone so don't try to pull any shit with me."

I did as she asked, "yeah, it's totally healed, I'm fine."

She nodded her head, "ok then. Get your ass off the ground and let's go. We're late for patrol."

As she started to walk away, I got up on my own. I was not about to push my luck and ask her to help me up. My back still hurt but I was fine, I would not be going to see Doctor Sparkles.

By this time, Leah had made it to the other side of the road and was waiting for me at the tree line. Once I caught up to her, without looking at me, she said, "Let's get this over with, then. Shall we?"

Right before she took her first step, I grabbed her arm and said, "Wait. We need to talk."

Her head whipped around but she kept her emotionless façade.

"There is nothing to talk about," she said as she forcefully pulled her arm away from my grasp. She took off into the forest and I followed close behind. I had a few minutes before we would hit the edge of the La Push border closest to the Cullens, where we usually phased.

I walked close behind her and took a heavy sigh. I didn't know where to begin nor did I think airing out all of what happened or my feelings would do any good.

I decided to go for broke, "did you know I was up in that tree?"

Ok, so maybe I didn't TOTALLY go for broke.

She gave away no emotion as she said, "I had a feeling you were, but I was in a rush. As far as I know, you were there to meet me before patrol, which we had agreed on."

I did a double take as I looked at her profile. I was so confused, "but we didn't…"

She stopped abruptly and turned to speak to me, she sighed in frustration before she said, "don't you remember, Embry?" She spoke to me like I was a young child, "I told you to come by my house and check to make sure I was awake for patrol. Thus, you were in that tree, right?"

I was staring, mouth agape at her. I was totally awe struck as to why she was offering me an out. She looked at me expectantly again. I just nodded my head like an idiot. She turned and started walking towards the border.

I stood there like a dumb ass for a minute, shook my head in amazement, and decided to catch up with her. I opened up my mouth once I was even with her, "but…uhh, but you know the truth…"

She made an aggravated huff and said, "what does it matter Embry? Hmmm? Do you WANT to get your ass kicked to Canada?"

I tried not to giggle at her use of a phrase I had thought of earlier, "so, you knew I was there and maybe why but you're not going to beat me up?"

She shook her head in amusing disbelief and answered, "oh, but the day is still young, pup. Also, that fall off the tree already did a number on you. Or would you like me to add insult to injury?"

I cleared my throat, "no, no. I'm good."

Rolling her eyes at me, she just kept walking until we hit the border. Without hesitating, she pulled her shirt over her head and pulled down her shorts.

"Woah, no warning Leah?!" I said while turning my site in the other direction.

She untied her hair and let it cascade down her back. She bent down, found the leather string in her pants pocket, traded it with her hair tie, and knotted her clothes to her ankle.

Turning to face my back, she answered, "oh, so NOW we're worried about staring at Leah. What a change…" The sarcasm in her voice was thick and she almost chuckled at her own joke.

Before I could turn and make a rebuttal, she had phased. I just stood there in irritation, watching the dark grey wolf sprint away from me.

This is what my life was like for the next couple of weeks: watching her run away both physically and emotionally.

We kept our distance from each other and didn't talk about anything touchy the whole time. We acted like everything was normal. Even though Jake's patrolling schedule seemed a little harsh at first, it wasn't all that bad. He was there most of the time, which helped cut the tension between Leah and me. On the days Leah would bitch about patrol, which she did frequently, he would generously let us take naps or even leave early. Every patrol was boring and hassle free.

However, outside of that, I was going through hell. Being around Leah and inside her mind half of the day was killing me! The dreams were driving me nuts too. I had almost the same dream every night. Me and Leah would be somewhere, not always the beach, maybe the forest or my room. We would lie down together and be comfortable then I would go in for a kiss and I would wake up. I was so frustrated in part because of the dreams and also her icy mood towards me. I only got to see her smile or be close to her in my dreams. However, it wasn't the same; I wanted the real Leah back.

Thursday rolled around; I woke up at that same ungodly hour and headed to the edge of the forest. Once I got there I saw Leah's wolf form retreating away from me for what seemed like the millionth time in these last weeks.

Still feeling exhausted, I pulled off my shorts and threw them on my ankle. I really was in no hurry to catch up with her. One of the reasons why I did not want to be within range of her is if I slipped up….which I always planned on happening just in case although it hadn't happened yet.

I really couldn't prevent the inevitable any longer so I phased.

The minute I was in her thoughts, she barked the same orders she did every morning; _you can take the southern and western borders while I take the north east. You wait for me if you see anything and we'll only howl for Jake if it is COMPLETELY necessary. You got that?_

I rolled my eyes: _this isn't my first patrol, oh mighty beta. I think I can handle it._

I had been getting a bit snappier with her lately, and she had taken notice.

_Yeah yeah, get your ass in gear, mutt!_ she slightly growled out as I saw her running the border.

It seemed like insulting each other was our only middle ground at this point. However, that couldn't erase the fact that my mind was going to wander soon if I didn't do anything to stop it. I did the only thing I could do and did do in times like these: thought of reruns from my favorite TV shows.

So my mind was filled with Archie yelling at Edith, Gibbs back handing Denozo, two angry beavers, JD and Turk's bromance, Karen popping pills, Brain taking over the world, and Clark crushing on Lana.

This was the usual except I mixed it up each day and it never seemed to bother her. She just watched with me while doing her patrols. She seemed pretty amused by most of it. When I showed one scene of Karen talking to her bartender 'Smitty,' I swear I could hear her canine laugh from where I was running miles away from her. I was glad that I was keeping her entertained.

Then I came to the last little snippet in my crazy train of thought: Lana and Clark from Smallville. Leah immediately scoffed. She never made any comments or even acknowledged my existence. Maybe I should have shown reruns of Smallville earlier…

My little picture show came to an abrupt end as I asked; _what? You don't like the show?_

She sighed; _no, no. I love the show even when it got complicated. I just always had a problem with Lana. I was rooting for Chloe._

I was so confused; _you know, I always thought you and Lana were so alike. It's one of the reasons why I liked the character so much…_ Ok, my mind might have went too far on that explanation.

_I'll ignore that last comment. _She brushed off my remark like she always did when things got too personal these days. She continued; _Anyways….are you kidding me? Me like Lana? That's bullshit_! she said in horrifying disbelief.

To prove her wrong I brought both of their images to view. I pointed out the hair and she said; _mine is black and longer._

Pointing out their similar eye color she said; _hers are light and happy while mine are dark and muddy._

There was really no winning with this woman.

I pulled up their smiles. They weren't terribly similar but only because Leah's could outshine Lana's any day. I made the mistake of showing Leah's smile from a couple weeks ago in the river when I was tickling her and from my reoccurring dream. It wasn't a problem because she cared, it's because it got me thinking.

It came in an almost snowball effect. I guess repressing it this long will do that. Thinking of her smile made me think of her eyes then her soft, kissable lips. That turned into being on top of her in the forest and in my dreams. The worst part was the feeling that trailed in after all these snippets. I tried to keep them all inside but there was no use.

_Leah, I…_ I began while trying to show her what I felt and how confused I was. I would have rather not felt this way but I was regardless and I couldn't keep it hidden from her forever.

She betrayed not a thought or emotion as she said; _Embry, forget it. You don't have to explain anything nor will anything come of it. Just keep patrolling and leave it._

She was acting so odd. I expected her to yell at me and call me an idiot or at least act as confused as I was feeling at this moment. I tried to explain to her; _Leah, I don't know what's going on but I can't stop thinking about you._

_I said leave it, Embry._

_But Leah…_

_LEAVE. IT. _She stated in her beta voice.

I felt that crushing feeling in my chest but it was heart ache this time. I breathed heavily as my paws kept hitting the ground. My vision was blurring.

_What right does she have?_

I was breathing harder and my heart was beating fast. She could be so frustrating! I broke the command.

I bit out, _for God FUCKING sakes, Leah! I just told you I care about you and you…you…._

I was in such a rage that I almost didn't notice her phasing out before I was done speaking to her.

I stopped immediately, noticing the crushing silence. _Where the hell could she had gone, _I though frantically.

Luckily I was near the north border so I looked for her scent there. I tracked it a bit until I noticed it veered back to the west and near La Push. I lifted my snout off the ground to see where I was: the woods near La Push cliff.

I saw her sitting on a rotted and uprooted tree by the precipice. She had her elbows on her knees as she zoned out towards the rising sun.

I phased and quietly put my shorts on some ways away from her. I didn't want to frighten her, we really needed to talk.

I sat down next to her and she stiffened just a bit. I tried placating her, "calm down, Leah. I'm just confused. That's a hazard of being in someone else's head, you see and hear things you may not want to but they exist none the less." She relaxed just a bit but I could tell she was still very uneasy.

I had calmed down considerably since my outburst and so had she. I thought honesty would be good at this point.

She sighed heavily and shook her head, "you don't like me, Embry, that much I know. We're pack mates, that's it. You need to find a girl very badly if you were so lonely that you resorted to me," she snorted.

I slouched my shoulders and ran my hands through my hair nervously. She had been hurt badly by Sam and everything else. Although she no longer harbored any feelings for Sam, it still hurt. It was written all over her face and laced within every word she uttered. She was always doubting herself and putting herself down.

"Don't put yourself down like that, Leah. I didn't just develop these feelings because I had no other choice."

She looked at me skeptically, "oh really? Then why have you all of a sudden gone 'gaga' over me, hmmm?"

I gave her the only answer I had been trying to convince myself of the last two weeks, "I finally saw you. You let your guard down just a bit that day at the river and in the woods. I saw a beautiful woman there, and I liked what I saw." I spoke softly, I was kind of scared of her reaction.

She sighed, "this conversation is so odd. Nothing can go on between us. Even with your explanation I don't see why you suddenly find me so attractive."

I corrected her, "I've always found you attractive. I've had the lamest school boy crush on you for a while, I was just never able to admit it to myself or anyone else until now."

We both looked at each other in the eyes this time. She looked so bewildered and unsure but I could tell she was about to make a leap of faith. I welcomed the butterflies because me and Leah were close again.

The real Leah, the Leah I wanted and needed was back. She was letting her guard down and I didn't know why. I was just praying that this would last, that I would be able to show her that I was serious and I wasn't going to let this go so easily. I really liked her and I was sticking my neck out as far as I could to make this work. I still kept the idea in the back of my mind that I could end up hurting her but at this moment I wanted her so badly that there was no doubt in my mind that I would fight to keep her if I ever imprinted.

I leaned in closer to her, expecting her to pull away automatically but as if she were a magnet to me, she tilted towards me. My heart was beating so hard I expected it to hop out of my chest. I could hear hers do the same.

She stopped for a moment. I could tell she was hesitant because her eyes kept shifting away from mine then back. I leaned in closer to encourage her. With this, she started to lean in again. When we touched noses she sighed and closed her eyes, "this is so not a good idea. What if you…"

Before she could move away or continue that thought, I gently brought my hand to the nape of her neck to keep her close to me as I tenderly said, "ssshhhhh, stop worrying." My sudden moved caught her off guard as she opened her eyes to looks at me again. She looked nervous but she didn't need to be nervous.

_God, I can't believe we're this close again and of our own free will this time!_

I smiled at her beautifully surprised expression. She glared and said, "well don't say I didn't warn you." It almost seemed like she was saying this to herself as much as she was to me.

I chuckled lightly, "you could tell me the sky would fall and I would still do this," I said as I finally brought her closer to me and was almost able to touch my lips to hers.

OWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!

A howl broke my perfect moment.

_OH MY FUCKING GOD! DE JA VU!!!!! WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK!_

For the second time in my miserable, miserable life, I was stopped short of kissing Leah. I sighed in deep frustration as I disappointingly moved my face from her to look into her eyes.

She looked at me as if to say 'I told you so.' I shook my head in defiance and brought my face closer to hers again. I was not going to lose this moment! She lightly put her hand on the arm that was connected to the back of her neck. I closed my eyes, this was her telling me to stop. She leaned her forehead against mine again and said softly, "Em, we should go, it's Jake."

I growled lightly in frustration, "first your brother then Jacob. There is a conspiracy theory against my happiness, I'm sure of it."

She chuckled, "oh stop being such a big baby!" she pushed away from me and I dropped my hand when she dropped hers. I opened my eyes and looked at her mocking smile. "Kissing me isn't that great, you won't be missing anything." She got up from the log and headed to the forest.

My head dropped in defeat then it perked up again as I digested what she just said.

I practically jumped from my seat and jogged to where she was walking, "wait, what? I mean, we have almost kissed three times in the last two weeks. It'll happen again and we can't be interrupted every time." I said hopefully.

Her face had turned hard and emotionless again. My window had been slammed shut.

She didn't look at me as she said, "Embry, it's never going to happen. Take it as a sign. This is not meant to be. You've told me how you feel and I appreciate the honesty but we have to go back to being normal. Now get your ass phased and let's see what Jake wants."

_Ugh, old Leah is back._

I was about to say something when she began to get undressed, she knew that would get me to shut up. As much as she knew I wanted her, she was aware I was too much of a gentlemen to stare if I knew she knew I was there. I turned and undressed myself, once I turned to phase, she was already running towards Jake in wolf form.

_This looks all too familiar, _I thought bitterly before I phased, too.

The minute I became a wolf, I could hear Jacob chastising us; _where the hell were you guys? I thought I'd check in on you two, knowing nothing was wrong but then I phase and you two are nowhere to be seen or heard from! What were you two doing that was so important, hmmm?_

Luckily, I had a lot of practice from patrolling with Leah so I kept my thoughts in check. Even though I was beyond frustrated with her, I wasn't about to air out what just happened or anything else. I was going to keep fighting for her and I didn't think pissing her off beyond belief would help my efforts.

She didn't answer Jake, she stayed pretty silent so I decided to answer him; _we just wanted a break, man. These patrols plus work and school has got us beat. I mean you've been good to us and all, but it can still be too much sometimes. Sorry, it won't happen again._

Leah and I made it to where Jake's russet form was standing, waiting for us. He sighed; _it's ok guys, I overreacted. I'm just a little nervous for Nessie's safety. I know I have been riding you guys a little too hard the past couple of weeks, I'm sorry. _

_It's no problem, Jake. Right Leah? _I said, trying to get her into the conversation or even acknowledge my existence.

She finally tuned in, _yeah, sure, worried about child imprint…blah blah blah. So are you going to patrol with us now, oh mighty Alpha?_

Jake rolled his eyes; _actually, Leah, I'm letting you and Embry go. You can go sleep or whatever, I'll finish up._

I looked at him in delight; _wow, Jake, thanks!_

_Yeah yeah, thanks Jakey, have fun. I'll be sleeping the day away… _Leah said off handedly.

Jake interrupted her; _oh, you're in for a rude awakening, Leah. Did you forget something? Ball room dancing today for Jared and Kim's wedding._

_WHAT?! _Me and Leah thought at the same time.

_I totally forgot that was today! _I thought in frustration. _Ugh! My day cannot get any worse!_

_Well, _Jake said, _you two better get your rest before hell begins. See you guys at 2 pm._

Leah made a last stitch effort to get out of dance lessons; _what about patrolling? Our whole pack except for Seth will be gone, what if something happens. _She must have been really distressed if she was begging to patrol and playing the concerned sister card.

Jake chuckled at her desperate attempt; _I have a deal with Sam, his younger boys who aren't in the wedding will be patrolling with Seth, don't worry Leah. Oh, and Sam offered to have some of his boys take over for us until tomorrow afternoon since he's noticed we have been stretching ourselves thin. This way, you don't have to sacrifice missing our lesson and you get time off until tomorrow night. _I could tell he thought this might placate her, but she always focused on the negative.

_Many thanks oh grand Alpha,_ Leah spit out sarcastically, not even thinking of the fact that we are getting a whole day off from patrolling.

With that, Leah and I headed back to La Push in silence. Once we hit the border, we phased and after I threw on my shorts I approached her when she was dressed.

I decided to make a bold move.

I grabbed her arm gently and spun her to face me. I daringly put my hands on her waist and brought my face close to hers, "now, where were we," I stated huskily.

Her expression immediately went steely and she shoved me hard enough to get me a distance away from her as she said, "do I have to spell it out for you again, Embry? LEAVE IT! This will never happen."

With that, she walked angrily out of my sight.

I knew confronting her like that was a gamble but I needed her to keep in mind that I still wanted us to be together and that there was an undeniable chemistry between us.

I was just hoping she would let down that wall once more and give me another chance.

* * *

Yep, another maybe kiss…sorry, I had to do it, lol.

So, the next few chapters are by far my favorite, so stay tuned!

Reviews are love!

Tell your friends!


	8. Two Left Paws

A/N

And now I bring you: Werewolves Dancing! lol

This is for all of you who, like me, are in the north east and are hopefully cozy in your pjs because it is snowing like crazy outside. I hope this helps with the snow day boredom!

* * *

I fought the instinct to run after her: that would be really pathetic. I breathed in slowly, I could still smell her and it was making those dam butterflies do back flips.

I sighed in defeat and headed towards home.

The sun was now clearly up over the horizon but I'm guessing it was only about 6 or 7 am. I had been awake for about four hours and I was beat. I dragged my feet the whole way to my house and lazily almost rolled my bulky form through my open window.

I had a feeling my mom would be waking up soon so I tried not to land with a big thud on my bedroom floor. For the second time in a couple weeks, I was overly exhausted both emotionally and physically because of Leah.

Once I was safely in my room, I crawled over to my bed and it almost took all the strength I had to lift myself onto the mattress. I thought it would be best to get a few more hours of sleep before my mother would demand I get up to start my day. The minute my head hit those pillows I was gone. Even though I was glad that I was finally getting some sleep, I could never make the dreams stop:

_I had Leah pinned against a tree, her lips waiting to be kissed when I heard someone gasp._

I was forcefully pulled from my dream by the sound of my mother's surprised intake of breath. She had been puttzing around the house as usual and I'm guessing she didn't know I'd be there. I squinted my eyes in fatigue and looked at the clock. It was only 8 am. By this time, my mom spoke up, "I thought you had work today, sweetie."

I lifted my head off the pillows to look at her through narrowed eyes, "they called me and told me I didn't need to be in today," and plopped my head back down on the pillows.

"Ok, baby, but I want you up soon, you can't sleep the day away" she stated.

I turned my back at her and groaned playfully, _you wake me up from an awesome dream and then you want me to get LESS sleep…ugh. _I heard her chuckle before she exited the room and closed the door silently. The second I heard the slight *click* of the door, I was out like a light. I had another dream about Leah, but as usual, I subconsciously hated myself so I awoke right before the good part.

It was 10 am and the house was eerily empty. I stumbled groggily to the counter and found a note. It seemed my mom left to run errands. I almost crumpled up the note and threw it away until I saw a little message on the bottom of the page:

_PS. I left a twenty under the cookie jar. Go get yourself a haircut, it's looking a little shaggy and you don't want that when you go to your dancing lesson this afternoon. Remember, that's at 2 pm. Love you!_

I shook my head; she was bossing me around even when she wasn't around. _What else are mothers for, right?_

Neglecting to change into anything more than my normal cut-offs, I headed into town. It had started to rain again; it didn't really bother me because it was cooling and peaceful. The only problem I had with that was that it got my hair all wet and matted but what did I care? It would all be chopped off soon enough anyways.

I walked into the only barber shop La Push had. I had been getting my hair cut here since I was a child. I sat down on the chair and was greeted by Marvin, the owner and man who had been cutting my hair since before I can remember.

He gave me a toothy smile and grabbed a lock of my unkempt hair, "boy, you have let yourself go! What's happened to you?" he laughed out playfully.

I shook my head in mock shame, "oh, you know, Marvin, too busy."

He scoffed in disbelief, "well, you have time now! Let's take care of this mess!" he said as he lifted the smock around me and got to cutting my hair.

Marvin had to be around seventy years old and had been for all of my life but he was as fast and spry as any man half his age. He was the coolest old person I ever knew. I made the mistake of telling my nana that when I was younger and I specifically remember getting wacked upside the head.

When he was done, I nervously dragged my fingers through my hair. It was really short but I knew it would grow out fast in no time. I handed Marvin the twenty even though he protested, gave him a smile, and headed back home.

After running my hands through my hair a million times following getting it cut, I got home and took another nap to make up for the loss of sleep. Leah haunted my dreams for the third time that day and for the third time my eyes opened the minute her lips were a millimeter from mine. I had been getting closer and closer lately but it made it more frustrating because I never got my kiss. When I woke up, it was 1 pm so I took a shower. I let the hot water relax my muscles and I started thinking.

I had made the choice to pursue Leah, but should I have? Were these dreams trying to tell me something? Would I just keep getting denied or interrupted? Besides that, it could get very complicated since we were packmates and either of us could imprint. Just as I was about to think up a million other reasons as to why I should give up on Leah, I remembered what my mother said, "it doesn't have to be complicated unless you make it so."

She was right. If I really liked her and wanted this then I didn't have to make it complicated. I couldn't wait to see Leah this afternoon.

Once I got out of the shower, I headed to my room. While looking for something decent to wear, I realized that almost all of what I own was just cutoffs. Sadly, I didn't think that would do so well at a dance lesson. I finally found some clean tan pants and a light blue buttoned up shirt. It felt weird to be wearing a shirt and a pair of long pants for the first time in….well a very long time.

I made my way to town again and entered the only little dance studio we possessed in La Push. I must have looked a little messy since I walked there in the rain without a jacket but it didn't matter, the water would evaporate in a minute. Besides, I don't think I possessed a jacket that fit me.

Jared and Kim were already there along with Sam and Emily. Greeting them, I noticed how this was just a bit awkward. Weird thoughts started popping into my head. The one that came up the most was; _kick Sam's ass! He hurt Leah. _Then the one following that was; _dude…what if he's your brother? _I brushed it off though. Besides that, being together like this felt odd because, ever since the pack split, I didn't see any of these people except for when they got married or if I would accidently run into them in town.

There were no longer any hard feelings between us but there was a certain sense of disconnect and formality that had never been needed before. Anyways, I was comfortable enough and had a nice, superficial chat with Jared and Sam, thanking them for helping with our patrol, while the girls were going crazy over wedding plans.

Slowly, the others started trickling in. One of Kim's friends showed up and I recognized her from school. I introduced myself and I immediately saw her blush as I shook her hand. She went over to chat with Emily and Kim. I could hear her gossiping with the girls about me, I rolled my eyes. Jake came in next and us four boys talked a bit about patrolling until Kim's other friend showed up. Like the other girl, I expected her to say hi to me then leave to chat with the others. Instead, she stuck around and the other guys kept socializing without me. For the next five minutes, this girl, I think her name was Bridgette, was all over me. She kept flirting with me and asking me unnecessary questions. I stayed polite the whole time but I had a feeling I was set up as I covertly looked to the side and saw Kim give Emily a knowing look. With my advanced hearing I was able to pick up, "well he obviously didn't imprint but they look really nice together."

I had forgotten that I was the only un-imprinted man here. I felt like I was being pimped out. Either way, they didn't have any luck, they struck out. _Sorry ladies, I have my eyes set on someone else._

Luckily, my savior from this annoying woman showed up in the form of Quil. Seeing that I was occupied, Bridgette finally took the hint and went to talk with the other girls.

_Wait…where's Leah?_

At this point, the dance instructor walked into the studio. I had never met her before but I was kind of expecting 'Miss Patty' from the Gilmore Girls. Instead, she was semi-thin with thick rimmed glasses over the edge of her nose. Her grey hair was pulled up into a tight bun and she was draped with all sorts of shawls and scarves. Walking towards where most of us had gathered, she tapped her cane lightly to get our attention and said, "I take it every one is here and accounted for by now?" she surprisingly spoke in a smooth and regal tone that did not fit her look or age.

Kim separated herself a bit from the gaggle of girls as she said, "well no, Madam, we're still waiting for one, she should be…"

Before she could finish, Leah entered the room. Madam turned to face her and at this point everyone was staring at Leah, too. Most people would cower and hide behind some familiar people but Leah just stood there in boredom. She didn't betray an emotion, not even anger or disgust. She was a force of nature and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was on my mind most of the time, but the images didn't do her justice until she was standing in front of me, in a beautiful black strapless dress*. It hugged her every curve in the most flattering way possible. She wore no jewelry or makeup, but she didn't need to. She emitted her own glow without even trying. Drops of water were sliding deliciously off her shoulders, arms, and face. Her hair was a bit damp as it cascaded over her shoulders and down her back. This woman was going to give me a heart attack.

I was totally bewitched by Leah's presence until I heard Bridgette snicker, "what? Is she going to a funeral?" That's when I saw that all the other girls were wearing frilly, flowery dresses. Her snide comment was directed towards the fact that Leah was wearing a black dress. I hadn't even noticed that most of the other girls looked so dolled up and yet all of them put together would not be as gorgeous as Leah. I saw the look on Bridgette's face; I could tell she did not like Leah either because she was much prettier or because I was staring at Leah rather than her.

Leah just stood there. Although she didn't show it, I bet she was torn between which of the groups to go with. She was packmates with most of us now or had been at one point, but Sam was her ex. On the other hand, she had gone to school with most of these girls, but she was still mad at Emily in some respects. I felt like going over to her but I was deterred.

Ignoring Leah's entrance, Madam turned back to us, "assuming this is the one you were talking about, we shall begin. Now, Kim, dear, I'm assuming you already have them paired off, let's hear it."

The old lady stepped to the side as Kim began giving direction, "the couples will be paired as is: Sam with Emily, Paul with Rachel, Jake with Laura, Embry with Bridgette, and Quil with Leah. This is also how you'll be paired off while walking down the aisle." As she said the names, we all went to our respective partners and I groaned internally while smiling at Bridgette politely. I was dying to be with Leah. I couldn't deal with this other girl. She was smiling and perky and annoying as hell! I kept shooting glances at Leah, hoping for a wink or some sort of reaction from her but I got none, of course.

Madam showed us our position. I put my hand on the small of this girl's back and the other in her hand. She had one sweaty hand in mine and the other on my neck which I could tell was trying to pull us closer together. I kept my distance from her but Madam came to us, "very good you two, but you have to get a little closer" she said as pushed us together.

Bridgette giggled and blushed. Probably without thinking, she blurted out, "wow, you're really hot." I knew what she meant but I had a feeling that was a bit of a Freudian slip, she could have just said I felt warm. Her cheeks grew even redder as she averted my eyes. I smiled politely; again, acting like it was a cute comment. I couldn't stand girls like this. Every girl I knew who had ever talked to me or had a crush on me was like this. Leah was the only exception to all other girls, that's why I wanted to be with her and not some air head like Bridgette.

At that point I got the first reaction of the afternoon out of Leah, I heard her snicker at my partner's comment. I turned my head and sighed at her. I wanted her to know that I wish she was the girl in my arms. I think she got the message because as our eyes met, she immediately went rigid and faced Quil. For the first time in my life, I wanted to rip Quil apart. He had his hands on her and all I wanted to do was lunge at him. I knew she didn't belong to me or anything but I was feeling very possessive at the moment.

Forced to turn my attention back to the instructor, Madam began to give us orders. She taught us some steps and we began to dance. My partner and I were doing fine despite the terrible lack of chemistry. It was so awkward with Bridgette's blushing and fumbling at our close proximity, not to mention she was almost two feet shorter than me. Luckily, this height difference afforded me to steal a glance at Leah without my partner knowing. I was able to notice how horrible she and Quil were doing.

I mean, I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that stepping on your partner's feet and letting the woman lead is not the proper way to ballroom dance. Madam noticed this too as she started to direct a lot more attention to them. It got so bad that Quil and Leah started bickering heatedly.

"For God sakes, Quil, two left feet much?!" she spat.

"Sorry, but you don't have much sense of rhythm yourself," Quil mumbled.

"Yeah, you know why? Because I basically have to haul your ass on the dance floor!" said as she dropped her hands and folded her arms across her chest in protest. I couldn't help but to stare at her chest because the way she had her arms around her chest made her breasts push a bit more out of that sexy black dress.

Everyone stopped dancing and turned to look at all the commotion. I was glad to have an excuse to step away from my partner for a second.

Quil looked uncomfortable and embarrassed with all the attention on him and he nervously started to shuffle his feet. Like always, Leah stood there, unwilling to give up her anger even at the face of public shame.

_God, she is beautiful._

Madam stood there for a moment, looking between both of them, probably waiting for Leah to cool down a bit. Once she did, Madam said, "ok, this certainly will not work out. Kim, do you mind if I make a change?"

Kim looked a little bewildered. I'm guessing her wedding planning brain was running on overtime, she seemed like one of those girls that wanted everything to go according to plan. Well, it's safe to say that this was not 'according to plan'. Well, she had to have known that was going to happen if she invited Leah to be in the wedding. Poor girl probably just needed another bridesmaid or maybe Emily guilted her into it. Either way, I was happy for whoever did it. Kim finally spoke up, "uh….sure Madam, whatever you think is best."

Madam nodded her head and grabbed Quil by the arm. I'm guessing she picked him because he would put up less of a fight.

She brought him over to where Bridgette and I were standing. She let go of his arm and grabbed mine. Bridgette's face fell. I immediately smiled. Madam brought me over to where Leah stood, looking even more pissed once she figured out what Madam was planning to do. Even though I saw her angered reaction, I was still smiling like an idiot.

"Ok, then. This should work better," she said then she looked to the others, "keep practicing your steps." Madam looked to us again and whispered, "I see you have fight in you, girl," and she pointed at Leah. Leah huffed in protest but Madam went on, "that's good, it means you have passion which is perfect for dance. Let this young man lead that passion and we won't have any more problems." With that, Madam left me with a grin and Leah with a look of surprise at what Madam had last said.

"Didn't think she could know you so well, huh?" I snickered as Leah glared at me.

"Oh, shut your big yap, Call. I bet you hate this as much as I do," she said while avoiding my eyes as I tried to gaze into hers.

Once she finally looked up at me with an aggravated huff, I said, "I did," I got closer to her, put my hand on the small of her back, and her hand in mine. "Until now" I finished with a sly wink.

If it were even possible, Leah's eyes squinted more in a deadly grin but she didn't put up a fight. She hesitated to put her hand to my neck but that was about it. I didn't care, she was here with me. Her smell hit me and I was intoxicated by her.

"So, are you going to let me lead your fiery passion?" I said coyly as I started the steps.

She growled, "not on your life, Call!" then she tried to step on my toes but I swiftly and expertly avoided her. I had had a lot of practice in not getting hurt by Leah.

I smiled at her and she gave up with a low, calculated breath. She started to follow my lead. I observed, however, that we were a little far apart so I slowly brought my chest flush up to hers. I looked at her as she let out a small gasp. Her head snapped up to look at me; she was a lot closer to my height than Bridgette was. Leah was the perfect height for kissing; I wouldn't even have to bend down that much.

"You're really hot," I said with a laugh. She glared at me and looked over at our hands in distraction.

It was a few moments before she discretely mumbled, "you're not too bad yourself."

I acted like I didn't hear anything but inside I was screaming, _YES!!!! My day just got a million times better! Commence internal happy dance!_

We danced by just going through the steps for a while to our own joined rhythm.

At one point, she dropped the icy mask for a second and looked at me in confusion. I smiled at her, "what is it, Leah? Are my mad dancing skills blowing you away?" I asked cockily.

She rolled her eyes in annoyance, "no, you idiot! I just noticed that you cut your hair." She absent mindedly took her fingers that were at the nape of my neck and ran them up and down the back of my head. I gave an involuntary and very satisfied shudder. Goose bumps broke across the skin there immediately and my eyes fluttered closed. I made a low, aroused growl and when I opened my eyes again, she looked at me with half lidded eyes. She instantly stopped her ministrations, her eyes glassed over, and she became void of all emotion again as she averted her eyes from mine. "It's short," she finally said, referring to my hair. I had been so taken aback by her little lapse in character that I almost didn't notice what she had said.

After that, Leah betrayed no emotion but she could not deny what her body was telling me. We were a perfect fit. Every line and curve of her body molded and responded with mine in perfect harmony. It was heaven.

Madam noticed too, she didn't even come over to school us. Even the imprinted couples had trouble. They loved each other unconditionally, sure, but they were still couples and they would lightly bicker about the steps or the other not being able to dance. Jake and Quil seemed to be doing ok with their partners but they were just going through the motions.

As Madam made her rounds, she looked at me knowingly. I had a feeling this old woman was very intuitive, and I was glad for that. She knew Leah and I were perfect for each other; we just had to make Leah see that.

Seeing that most of us knew the steps pretty well, Madam spoke up, "now that you all are acquainted with the Waltz, we'll be dancing to music."

She glided over to the old record player in the corner of the room. She played one of my favorite songs, and a very fitting one at that: Frank Sinnatra's _They Can't Take That Away From Me._

There are many many crazy things  
That will keep me loving you  
And with your permission  
May I list a few

I sang the first few lines into her ear. She immediately stiffened and rolled her eyes at me, I chuckled and kept singing.

The way you wear your hat  
The way you sip your tea  
The memory of all that  
No they can't take that away from me

While singing the last line, I inclined my head towards the others, who we had separated a bit from, and winked at Leah. She ignored me but I couldn't help but smile.

The way your smile just beams

She looked me in the eyes and I could tell she was sensing that this song was getting a little personal. My smile fell and I tried to convey my feelings to her in my eyes as well as through the song.

The way you sing off key  
The way you haunt my dreams

My voice cracked a bit at the last line and I coughed lightly to cover it up. I looked away for a minute, I was a bit embarrassed. Ok, so the song was a little too spot on, even for me. This didn't go unnoticed by Leah though, who, the minute I brought my eyes back, looked questioningly up at me. I just kept singing.

Oh, no they can't take that away from me

After having that song bite me in the ass a bit, we kept dancing to the next song on the record, 'The Way You Look Tonight'.

Some day, when I'm awfully low,  
When the world is cold,  
I will feel a glow just thinking of you...  
And the way you look tonight.

Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm  
And your cheeks so soft,  
There is nothing for me but to love you,  
And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,  
Tearing my fear apart...  
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,  
It touches my foolish heart.

Lovely ... Never, ever change.  
Keep that breathless charm.  
Won't you please arrange it?  
'Cause I love you ... Just the way you look tonight.

The words sang for this moment between Leah and me even more so than the first. I didn't sing because I didn't have to, I would have ruined the moment if I had. This song was more than coincidence, it was pure fait. Leah sensed it too. She hadn't been really looking at me this whole time since that previous awkward moment earlier, but she finally brought her eyes to mine. The warm depths of her eyes mirrored confusion and worry.

In that second, I figured out why she had been acting so weird. The feelings I had for her were not one sided, or at least I really, really hoped they weren't. She felt them too, but she had been burned too many times to take a leap of faith for me. I understood, but I still wanted her nonetheless. She became a bit stiff in my arms and I could tell she wanted to run but I held fast to her.

I gazed into those perplexed eyes and softly said, "I got you. I won't let you fall." With that, she tensed a bit more before finally loosening up. She sighed, brought our joined hands closer to our bodies, and placed her cheek against my chest. I stopped dancing to the steps and we just swayed for a moment. I was both terribly shocked, nervous, and unnaturally blissful at the same time. My heart seemed to beat to the tune of the song. I was surprised my heart was even still working as I felt the nervous butterflies make it tighten and ache, but in a good way. I felt so alive and at peace in this moment.

I was glad for the fact that everyone was distracted by their respective partners right now because Leah and I were sharing a very intimate moment I didn't want anyone to ruin.

She finally lifted her head off my chest, realizing that the others would probably start to stare. We acted like nothing had happened and went on dancing the steps.

I started to hum to the song; I would add this one to the list of songs that reminded me of Leah.

Time seemed to move at a snail's pace as I lived in this moment with her through every song. I barely even noticed that there were other people there.

She was more responsive, now. She was looking me in the eyes and actually dancing with me. Before, she had just been dancing the steps and her body just naturally swayed with mine. However, now, she was actually making an effort. Every sway of her hips spoke to me and it took all the self control I possessed not to kiss her.

I found myself asking a familiar question: _this is what it could be like, you two together._

This wonderful feeling lasted until Madam spoke up, "Ok, well your hour is up, I'll be seeing you all again in a week to work out some kinks on the day of the rehearsal dinner."

It pained me to let go of Leah, but I did. This was the point where people would start to notice the extremely romantic connection between us. Our moment was lost and my Leah was gone. We made so much progress today. She opened up and I saw that she cared for me too but she wasn't totally ready just yet.

Without hesitating, Leah left me and was the first to walk out the door. I felt like I was in one of those cartoons where a character would leave really fast but a cloudy outline of their form would remain. Her exit was just like that. My heart physically made a tug in her direction but I refused to chase after her right away. I wasn't going to push her or seem too desperate.

Everything was 'normal' again except for the fact that, the minute Leah walked out the door, her head fell and she desperately clutched her hands over her heart. Also, I saw Emily almost run after her.

_That's odd…._

I slowly made it to door of the studio until I felt a slight pull at my arm. I looked down and saw Madam's squinting smile. She looked so small and fragile standing next to me. I smiled back at her, I was extremely grateful for her pairing me and Leah today.

"I might be losing my eyesight," she readjusted the glasses on her nose, "but I'm not stupid. You like that girl yet she's proving to be very difficult. I know that kind of woman. She's head strong and tough against her own interests. However, you are a good man and there will be an opportunity for you to show that to her. Don't give up." With that she gave my arm an encouraging squeeze and walked to her office in the studio.

Smiling like a complete dork, I made my way outside.

* * *

*http://www. Kohls .com/kohlsStore/womens/dresses/ littleblackdresses /PRD~510141/LC+Lauren+ Conrad+Strapless+#

^^ Leah's dress, I thought you might like a visual. As usual, just take out the spaces.

So, this chapter was originally two but I split it, it was wicked long.

I'll be hitting the half way mark of this story soon so I'll be posting a chapter that is just a song list because, trust me, it'll be a long song list. I'll match each song to a chapter, maybe even some of the others I haven't posted yet just to give you some hints.

If I haven't said this already or enough, I have to tell you all AGAIN how AWESOME you all are! The only reason I keep updating, besides the fact that I love to write this story, is you guys. I also am an avid fanfic reader so I know how annoying it is when you have like 50 fanfics on your subscribtion list and yet NONE of them update for weeks. I also find that if an author puts too much space between chapters, I would have read so many other fanfics that I will forget what theirs is about and then I don't read it anymore. Therefore, I will keep the chapters coming, and hopefully, you will keep reading!

Reviews are love!

Tell your friends!


	9. Is This a Dream?

A/N

You guys are the best readers I could have ever hoped for! I mean, I love this story and that's why I keep writing it but I'm glad I'm not righting this just for myself. I will keep the updates coming as long as you keep the reviews coming!

Oh, by the way, there is a * down by the middle of the story which signifies when you should play the song My List by The Killers. You don't have to but it sounds really nice playing in the background.

Here you go!

* * *

As I exited the studio, I saw that everyone seemed to have gone their separate ways. I breathed a sigh of disappointment. As much as I loved Madam's words of encouragement, I really wanted to catch up to Leah. It hurt to be away from her. When I was with her I couldn't think strait and my body was on fire for her. We never had a real talk about what was happening between us. I couldn't give her up like she wanted me to before we had a serious chat.

Sadly, I didn't think I could catch up with her at that moment unless I went to her house. Again, I did not want to seem too desperate, so I started walking towards home.

I was stopped in my tracks and my ears perked up as I heard Leah's voice. It was so pathetic how I could pick out the sound of her voice so easily, it even made my heart beat quicken.

_Wow…I am pathetic…_

I also could tell it was coming from one of the alleys next to the building I was just in.

As I got closer, I could pick out what she was saying, "so, are you telling me this just to gloat? After making me suffer through your happy day and watching you two ride off into the sunset, you thought I needed to hear this, too? You really thought you hadn't done enough damage already?" She sounded like she was in pain but still managed to bite out her words in extreme anger. Leah must have been so enraged because I would have thought she would hear my footsteps. Luckily, she didn't and I was able to eaves drop.

"N-no…..no, I just thought you should hear it from me, before we told anyone else" I heard another woman's voice. After a pause in thought I noticed it was most likely Emily. She continued, hurt and regret laced throughout her words, "we used to be such good friends, more like sisters, before" she took a deep breath, "b-before…" Her voice had receded and gotten small at the tail end. There was no secret as to what she was referring to.

Even though it had been years since Sam had broken Leah's heart and gone to Emily, the two girls rarely spoke. Sure, it had been Sam who had done the damage but Leah still blamed Emily. Leah's reasoning was that Emily could have put up more of a fight against Sam since he really had no choice. Emily begged for forgiveness so many times and tried to win back Leah's love just as much. It was awful when Emily asked Leah to be her maid of honor at her wedding. I understood why Emily did it. Even when they had their falling out, Leah was the closest thing Emily had to a sister or even a best friend. Therefore, Emily thought she was going to draw them closer together if she extended out his olive branch of sorts. She was very wrong.

Leah was so mad that she didn't even say anything but one small phrase, "you are absolutely unbelievable!" She yelled at Emily and just took off. Emily was so confused and utterly devastated. Our pack had to suffer Leah's extreme rage and depression for a whole week. Emily took that as Leah declining the offer and asked Kim to be her maid of honor instead. However, Leah was still a bride's maid and that was bad enough. She wasn't vindictive enough to make a scene but she didn't make an effort to look happy either. I could have cared less at the time but I do remember that her attitude was a bit of a drag.

However, what Emily did was really unfair to Leah. I have always thought that a maid of honor held the hand of the bride through the whole wedding planning process and prepared the bridal shower or the bachelorette party. First of all, Leah was not the 'girly get-together' type. Second of all, Leah was not big enough of a person to support Emily in the way she needed to be when she was marrying Leah's ex-boyfriend. If anything, Emily should be Leah's maid of honor when she gets married.

I thought of Leah in a beautiful white gown…._she would look absolutely gorgeous in white…._

_STOP!_ I yelled at myself, _it's a little….ok, WAY too early for that, don't you think?_

I shook my head to get those pictures out of my head. It was like trying to get water out of my ears. I was pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of Leah's bitter tone of voice again.

"Before what, Emily? Before my happiness was pulled out from under me? Before my father keeled over in front of me? Before I turned into a giant dog that had to suffer through listening to how much my ex loved you more than me? Which one was it?" Leah almost yelled at Emily. By now I was where the building cornered into the alleyway. I stayed there to see what was going to happen. I was fully prepared to save Leah from herself. She seemed really torn up beneath the angry façade. Her voice cracked in places and her throat sounded raspy.

I heard Emily's breathing get shallow and she began to sniffle. When she spoke I could tell she was either crying or was at least about to, "Leah, I-I n-never meant to…"

Leah spoke over her in a malicious and even tone, "or was it before you finally had to show me you still had one more advantage over me, that there was one more reason why I was alone and bitter?" I could hear Leah take a step forward and I flinched.

I peered around the corner, which I hadn't dared to do until this point in time just in case Leah was facing in my direction. Luckily, Emily was the one facing me, but there were so many tears in her eyes and she had them set on Leah, I didn't think she would notice. I watched Leah carefully, looking for the tell-tale shaking. I knew Leah would never intentionally hurt Emily but I was still worried that she might phase. Emily had already been mauled by one angry wolf; she didn't need a repeat of that horrific event. It was at this moment I wondered what possessed Sam to leave Emily alone with Leah.

"You can have your 'happily ever after', Emily. We're not friends nor were we ever sisters; I don't need to know anything" Leah finished.

With that I saw Leah whip her head around and pivot her body to leave. I popped my head back out of the alley in fright. Then I heard Leah storm off. She didn't even realize I was there as she walked out of the alley and turned the opposite direction to where I was standing.

By now, Emily was definitely sobbing. I was just about to go after Leah to see if she was ok, until Emily rounded the corner, bumping into my chest. She was taken a back and looked up at me in bewilderment. Tears were pouring down her cheeks and the grooves of her scar like a river. Seeing it was me, she sobbed lightly into my shirt and I wrapped my arms around her small form. I hadn't seen her in a long while but she was still our pack mother, I had to comfort her and I was glad to.

Through her tears I heard, "she hates me," over and over again. Emily finally calmed down after a few minutes and when she did, she looked up at me. Her kind eyes were filled with sadness and hopelessness. With a hoarse voice she said, "you have to go talk to her. She'll listen to you."

Even though that had been my plan, I looked at her skeptically to keep up the charade, as far as Emily knew, Leah and I were just packmates. I spoke up in a soothing voice, "I don't know, Emily. I don't think she likes me that much either these days."

She sniffled and separated herself from me a bit to get a better look at me, "oh Embry, I'm not blind. You may have thought no one was looking but I noticed. The connection between you two is electric. She'll listen to you; she really likes you but is too afraid to admit it." I could see new tears form in her eyes as they averted from mine at the mention of this, "I don't blame her," she sniffled.

I was glad she had observed our chemistry. It wasn't just me. Now I was sure Leah felt the same way. I gave Emily another big hug and looked at her face, "ok, I'll go find her. Where do you think she ran off to?"

Emily thought for a moment, "probably in her room. Check there first. When she's really upset she hates the prying thoughts of her pack brothers even though the run does her good."

"ok, ok. I'll find her after I take you home." I said. Sam would kill me if I didn't at least offer.

Emily immediately stopped crying and protested, "No! You need to get her now." She frantically wiped the tears from her eyes and pushed at my chest, "you've already wasted time consoling me. She needs you more than I do, go!"

"But…" I started before she interrupted me.

"But nothing," she chastised, "I'll be fine, go get her!" she told me firmly.

"Thanks, Emily!" I said as I lightly squeezed her arms in gratitude and took off toward Leah's house.

The minute I was out of the down town area I took off my shirt. I kind of felt like Superman, running and discarding my shirt like that except I didn't have a costume. Not caring what happened to the shirt; I bundled it up and threw it into the woods. I hated that thing; I would find it later if I really wanted to. I did the same with my shoes and socks. Once I was in the woods, I stripped off my pants, tied them around my ankle, and phased.

Even though I could have made it to Leah's house in the same time if I was human, I wanted to phase just to make sure that Leah wasn't in wolf form.

_Hey, Embry! _called Seth through his thoughts. I could see him patrolling our routine path around the Cullens' house. He saw where I was heading to; I couldn't help but let that detail slip. _Why are you heading to my house?_ he asked plainly.

Luckily, I was able to hide why I was going there. I knew that if he found out that his sister was distraught, he would head to his house and make me substitute in for him during patrol, which I wouldn't say no to. I was guessing that Seth would find it odd that I even cared about Leah's well being.

I thought of something really stupid, and probably very unlikely, on the fly; _Ummmmm…well, I have to talk to her about patrolling real quick, she left the dance lessons before I could say anything. _I hoped that sounded plausible enough to Seth because, if it didn't, I'd be in deep shit. I was really bad at making up lies under pressure like that.

_Oh, ok…_he sounded skeptical but I could tell he couldn't have cared less. _Well, tell Leah and my mom, if you see her, that I won't be back for dinner and that I'll be home really late. I'm going to go hang out with some of the guys from Sam's pack. You're welcome to join if you want, Em._

_No, man, I'll pass, _I said as I came to Leah's house. I was glad that I had made it there already because I couldn't think of a good an excuse to not take him up on his offer. _Bye Seth, see you later!_

I didn't even give him time to respond as I phased out and pulled my, now very dirty, khakis on.

The house was eerily dark, quiet, and still. There was no car in the driveway, I assumed that their mom was either at work or out with Charlie. Leah had to be here. I could smell her.

I ran up the steps of their porch but stopped when I wondered whether the door was open. I went for it and it was unlocked. I thought it was a little weird since I thought she'd lock it if she wanted to be alone. However, once I opened the door, I saw some splintered wood on the frame of the door. She had definitely slammed it shut when she walked into the house. I gulped; _she must be very pissed_. I knew I was stupidly and willingly walking into the lion's…..actually, wolf's den, but I had this feeling that she needed me.

I slowly walked inside and took a look around. There was not a light on or a hint of movement. Besides that, it was really homey and cozy. I made my way up the stairs and looked down the row of hallway doors. All of the doors were ajar except for the one at the end of the hall, to the right. Now that I was close enough, I heard footsteps. Once I got closer, I heard they were falling in a steady rhythm, soft then loud, loud then soft. She was pacing.

I listened more carefully; I could hear music, too. I picked up a few lyrics and noticed it was You Oughtta Know by Alanis Morissette. That was undeniably a very bad sign.

I got to the door and took a deep breath. I heard here pace back and forth a few times then I knocked.

Her footfalls stopped the minute my fist hit the door.

"For God's sake, Seth! I thought you were out patrolling!" I hear her storm over to the door. She pulled the door open so hard I thought she might pull it off its hinges. She began to say, "now what the hell…" but the minute she saw me, her expression grew even angrier and she slammed the door in my face.

It happened so fast, I wasn't able to react. Once the door was in my way again, I pounded on it and said, "Leah…..Leah….Come on, let me in, please." I grabbed the door knob and tried to turn it. It was locked, of course.

She didn't say anything and I got worried. I had my hand braced on the door, wondering what to do next and waiting to hear anything from her. Suddenly I heard a thump on the door, I jumped in surprise. I didn't know what just happened but it made me anxious. Then, I heard a sliding noise; I put my ear to the door. She must have slammed her back against the door and slid down. She was really distraught. I panicked. I didn't hear anything and I was about to break down the door. I was worried that breaking open the door would hurt Leah, but I needed to get in there. Suddenly, I heard a gust of wind blow through her room.

I immediately turned and barreled down the stairs. Her window was open.

I made it out the door in no time, but I had the courtesy to close it properly and lightly, I didn't want anyone to think that I had broken the door.

I got outside of her house and went back to that damn tree I had sworn I would never climb up again. I stared it down and thought, _if Leah didn't need me right now, I would rather die than have to resort to this again._

In my hurry, I practically jumped up it and found that all too familiar branch. I looked into the room and saw her sitting up against her door. All the lights were out and I could hear the music playing better from here. The song had switched to Six Feet From the Edge by Creed which I could even consider worse than the previous song. _What is this? Her Suicidal 90's mix?_

I stopped worrying myself over her song choices and looked at her. Even with the lack of light, I could see her wearing a long, plaid t-shirt that covered her knees, she didn't make a movement or a sound; she just stared at the wall in front of her with her hands clutched over her heart. The gesture seemed familiar and I wondered what it meant. Either way, it made me nervous.

I edged my way out on the branch as far as I could go and, swiftly, I jumped through the window, doing a summersault into her room. The minute I landed, she shot out of her seat.

I had stood up by this time and placed myself in front of her. She put her hands to my bare chest and stared there. Beads of water were falling over me, touching her finger. She seemed distracted for a minute before she looked at me in hatred and began to push me towards the window I came through, "what the hell, Embry!?!?! Get the hell out of my room!"

I looked down at her, she looked so sexy. I mean, the black dress was my favorite so far but nothing could beat Leah in just a blue plaid button down. I shook my head, trying to get out the naughty thoughts. She needed me emotionally right now; my hormones would have to wait.

I got a hold of myself and addressed her. "No" I said firmly as she continued to push me.

I wouldn't waver. She needed me and I was not going to let her push me out of her life. Noticing that this was the case, she stopped pushing and put her hands by her side. She stared at my chest for a while. She was breathing very heavily as if preventing something. She refused to look at my eyes. I gently brought my hand up to her chin and brought her face to look at mine.

*It was difficult at first; she turned her face and closed her eyes shut in protest. However, she didn't fight much more than that. I had a feeling that she either knew she needed me or she was just too worn-out to struggle. She had her fists clenched at her side and she was flexing them in irritation. Hoping she wouldn't take a swing at me, I gently yet forcefully turned her chin to face me. She finally took a long deep breath, gave up the fight, and opened her eyes to look at me.

Her eyes were filled with the deepest sense of hopelessness that it nearly broke me. It felt like those butterflies, which had emerged due to her close proximity, keeled over and died the moment I looked into those eyes. I could practically hear each of them make a loud thud at the pit of my stomach.

I had to do something.

Of course, my body told me to throw her down on her bed and "mount her like a lion!" but I knew that wouldn't be smart. She was really vulnerable right now and I would never take advantage of that. So, I thought of the only thing that would give me the skin contact I needed without pushing Leah too far while still giving her emotional comfort.

I immediately embraced her by putting both of my arms around her waist securely. I bent over a bit and buried my face into the crook of neck. I got lost in her scent and the warm comfort of her body. I quickly had to remind myself that this was for her. She needed this.

Of course, she put up a fight, "what the fuck, Call! Get off of me!" She grabbed my biceps and tried to pry myself off of her, but there was no use. Trying to wriggle herself out of my grasp, she cursed even more. After a while, she stopped fighting but she didn't embrace me either.

I brought my lips up to her ear, "let go. You're safe. It's ok to be vulnerable with me." She shivered lightly at the sensation my breath made as it went into her ear and down her neck. With a long sigh, I finished with, "I care."

She let out an aggravated growl, "just because you find me attractive doesn't mean you're ready to deal with my emotional baggage."

Her voice got soft and her breathing more erratic. I could tell she needed to cry.

With that, I held her tighter because I had said all I could say. For five minutes we stood there. I could hear her heart beating. It went fast then slow, slow then fast. She was at war with herself. I just stayed there, hoping she would finally give in, and know how much I cared.

I heard her heart speed up once more before she finally wrapped her arms around my shoulders tentatively.

I made a long, contented sigh. I felt complete.

She took a few long deep breaths and she started to sniffle. She nestled her face closer to my chest and I moved my head so my cheek rested atop her hair.

"I don't cry," she said firmly. She took a quick shallow breath and said in a whimper, "I don't…I don't cry."

I spoke up in encouragement, "you can cry. I won't judge." She scoffed but continued to hold back.

After a few moments of silence, I spoke up again, "what was Emily's news, anyways?"

And that was all it took.

The minute those words left my lips, she broke down. It's a lucky thing I had a good hold on her waist because she collapsed in my arms and began to sob uncontrollably. I felt her hot, wet tears drip down my chest and mix with the droplets that were left over from the rain.

Taking one of my hands from her waist, I moved her to the side a bit, and hitched my arm under her knees. I scooped her up bridal style and carried her to the bed. She was so light and felt so frail. Having her break down in my arms was the most wonderful and haunting feeling.

However, I couldn't help my horny brain from thinking for itself; _Wow, fantasy coming true? _Well it wasn't happening exactly the way I had hoped but at least she had finally opened up to me.

She kept crying as she clung to me and I just let her. By now, I was kneeling beside her bed still holding her while she lay there, clinging to me. I carefully took my arm from under her legs and grabbed the blankets at the end of her bed. I gently tugged it over her and tried to extract my other arm that was under her torso. She grabbed tighter, though, and she looked up at me despairingly.

She sniffled a few more times and said, "n-now w-where do you th-think you're g-going, Ca-all?"

I laughed at her attempt to bring back angry Leah as she glared at me through glassy eyes. Even at her most vulnerable, she was still fierce. I answered her question, "well I thought you wouldn't want me here, that maybe you'd want to be alone." It was such a miracle that she even let me hug her, let alone let me see her cry. Therefore, I felt my luck would strike out soon so I thought I'd leave her to vent before she wanted to kill me.

Separating herself from me a bit to get a better look at my face, she just sat there for a while, looking into my eyes while trying to get a hold of her breathing. She finally said, "no, I want you here." She said it so softly that I barely heard her. That wasn't the problem; I just couldn't believe my ears.

"You do? But I th-thought…and…you do?" I stammered out. I knew she was the kind of person to grieve in private and she didn't want anyone to see her vulnerable. I didn't expect her to want me to stay, too.

She grabbed onto me again and whispered, "get in here before I change my mind."

Moving back a bit in the bed, she made room for me. I was totally shocked but I didn't hesitate. She was making huge progress and I wasn't going to discourage her.

I slowly crawled into bed next to her and lay down on my side. Once I was comfortable, she kicked off the covers and moved her body close to mine. She wrapped her arms around me and buried her face in my neck. She was so warm and soft. It felt like when you lie under the covers of your bed and curl up after coming in from the cold.

After a few moments, I heard her start to cry a little again and I began stroking her hair soothingly. I put my other hand at the small of her back and molded her body to mine. Of their own accord, our legs tangled together, too.

I took long deep breaths. This was surreal. I was in Leah's bed, cuddling and consoling her. It was so much better than all my dreams.

_This is what it could be like, you two together._

I kissed the top of her head to calm her down. She took a long deep breath. I hadn't been paying much attention to her music this whole time, it was playing pretty softly and I had been wrapped up in helping Leah. However, now that we were both silent, I caught the tail end of My List by The Killers. It was becoming more and more apparent that Leah was the one for me.

The song then changed to Angeles by Elliot Smith. I can't argue that it's a bad song but it wasn't a song that Leah should have been listening to at the time. Elliot Smith was talented but his songs are haunting and depressing. I turned a bit to the side and stretched my arm in back of me to find her iPod dock. Leah made this extremely difficult for me, holding me back because she thought I was trying to leave. I chuckled. She was so adorable. I finally was able to find the speakers and I shut off the music.

I went back to embracing her.

Still stroking her hair, I began to sing to her: 'Wild Horses' by the Rolling Stones, it would be a better song choice than whatever she had on that very brilliant yet gloomy playlist. My mother used to sing this to me when I was upset. It was the first song I learned to play on the guitar. It seemed fitting enough and it illustrated my feelings at the moment almost exactly.

Childhood living is easy to do  
The things you wanted, I bought them for you  
Graceless lady you know who I am  
You know I can't let you slide through my hands

Wild horses couldn't drag me away  
Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away

I watched you suffer a dull aching pain  
Now you decided to show me the same  
No sweeping exits or offstage lines  
Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind

Wild horses couldn't drag me away  
Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away

I know I dreamed you a sin and a lie  
I have my freedom but I don't have much time  
Faith has been broken, tears must be cried  
Let's do some living, after we'll die

Wild horses couldn't drag me away  
Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day

Wild horses couldn't drag me away  
Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day

After a few moments she had finished crying and I noticed her breaths become steady.

In a small voice, she said, "you have a really nice singing voice."

I moved my head and extended my arms to get a better look at her. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. I tried to read her expression for any humor or sarcasm. She just looked up at me innocently. I also noticed that all the crying she had done made her look drained and exhausted. I had planned to ask her again what Emily had told her that made her so devastated but I decided that it was best to save that conversation when she had gained some of her strength back. Sure, asking her now would guarantee me amnesty from getting my ass kicked but I didn't want to make her even more depressed by bringing it up.

I brought her closer to me and nuzzled my head in her hair. I inhaled a deep breath; _mmmmmm… lavender and…..cinnamon? That's odd._ It didn't really matter, though. Her scent still had an inveigorating affect on me.

"Thanks," I sighed contentedly, "want me to sing another?"

She hummed in thought and said, "yeah, sure."

I thought for a second but decided it was best for her to pick. "What would you like to hear?" I asked as I tucked her beautiful hair behind her ear gently.

She was silent for a moment as she played with the short hairs at the back of my neck absent mindedly.

"How about 'Black Bird' by the Beatles?" she asked skeptically, like I didn't know the song. Of course I knew the song, it was one of my favorites.

"Sure. I'm just glad you picked something a little more upbeat than what you were listening to on your iPod," I chuckled. She looked up at me with a glare and tugged at my hair. I grimaced in pain but couldn't help the smile that hid behind it. "Uncle…..UNCLE! I'll sing the song" I cried out when she didn't let go.

She stopped trying to pull out my hair and said, "ok, Call, sing." She nuzzled her head back into my chest and began her gentle ministrations at the back of my neck again.

I laughed lightly at her quick spin in attitude and started to sing:

Blackbird singing in the dead of night  
Take these broken wings and learn to fly  
All your life  
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Black bird singing in the dead of night  
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see  
All your life  
You were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly  
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly  
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night  
Take these broken wings and learn to fly  
All your life  
You were only waiting for this moment to arise,  
You were only waiting for this moment to arise,  
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Her breathing had gotten deep and slow by now. Her eyes were closed but her grip on me never loosened. She was asleep within minutes after I finished the song.

I stayed there relishing in the sights, sounds, and smells this moment was blessing me with. I thought of leaving but if she really wanted me here, I wasn't going to let her wake up to see me gone. I closed my eyes, letting her stable heartbeat and lovely fragrance lull me to sleep.

I had no need for dreams tonight.

* * *

Isn't Embry cute!!!!! This was one of my favorite chapters to write! I hope you guys liked it too!!!!

Reviews are love!

Tell your friends!


	10. Waking to Lavender and Honey

I felt so warm and at peace. Opening my eyes, I squinted groggily at the site before me. I looked around and was confused for a second. This was not my room. What happened last night escaped my brain in its tired state. Then I looked down and saw that I still had my arms around Leah.

_Last night wasn't a dream._

My heart began pounding uncontrollably within my chest once it remembered where I was and what had happened. I never wanted to move from this spot. Leah looked so peaceful when she slept; her features were relaxed and smooth. I took one of my hands that was around her waist and brushed a strand of hair that had fallen across her face. She stirred a bit.

"Good morning, sunshine," I whispered in delight as her eyes opened to look up at me. She looked really dazed at first but then she sighed and gave me a light smile. A warm, wonderful sensation enveloped my heart at this sight. I wanted to wake up like this every morning.

She stretched her arms over her head and then put them back around my neck. Making a contented sigh, she looked into my eyes again. However, her good mood changed at an alarming rate as her smile fell and she said, "I'm sorry I did that to you."

I gave her a confused expression as I cupped her cheek and made her look into my eyes after she had averted them. "Sorry you did what, Leah?" I said in an unbelieving tone.

She rolled her eyes in annoyance, "after all I put you through, the name calling and physical abuse, I still made you take care of me. It was unfair to you…."

I stopped her rambling by placing my thumb gently over her lips. I smiled at her, "you didn't _make_ me do anything. I wanted to help. I would never leave you in your time of need no matter how awful you were to me." She still looked unconvinced as I noticed the concerned expression glued on her features. I tried to persuade again but getting up the courage to say, "I really care about…"

This time she stopped me by grabbing my hand away from her face and saying, "don't tell me that. Don't. Say. That." She squeezed my hand with each word. Her eyes were sad and concerned. Then my gaze moved towards our clasped hands: I was mesmerized with her warm, soft hand covering mine in an intimate gesture. She brought my focus back to her as she continued, "it'll just make it that much harder when this doesn't work out." With that, she turned her head and began to get out of the bed to my right. I just lay there, wondering whether or not I should let her go. She definitely made me question myself but then I gathered my resolve.

She got so much as one foot on the floor before I yanked her back. I sat up a bit, grabbed her left arm gently with my right then took my left arm and snaked it around her waist. I turned her around and was able to pull her up on top of me. I bound her there, looking at her with a rigid determination in my stare.

She pushed her hands to my chest and tired to lift herself off as I held firmly to her waist.

"Embry! Stop!" she said evenly but harshly. Her legs had naturally slid on the outside of mine and her knees landed parallel to my hips. Her breathing hitched and I suppressed a groan as her crotch involuntarily grazed my arousal. That was not part of my plan. I had closed my eyes in embarrassment but when I opened them again I saw her hooded eyes staring back at me. Her long hair made a perfect curtain around both of our faces and she looked stunning within it.

I don't see how she thought this wouldn't work out; I mean, the attraction was DEFINITELY there. We couldn't deny our physical chemistry; she wanted me as much as I wanted her.

She shook her head and her eyes went determined again as she tried to lift herself off me again, "Let me go, Call" she spit out.

I glared at her and said, "no," right before rolling over and pinning her beneath me with each arm keeping me up on either side of her face.

_Wow, déjà vu?_

My breath was quickening as I leaned in because I knew I could not let this opportunity pass me by again. Of course, she made sure that it almost did.

"Wait, Embry!" she said as she lightly pressed her hands to my chest in protest. I looked at her questioningly. She said, "I have morning breath." I scoffed at her. That was one lame excuse. I leaned in again but she kept her hands firm.

I made an aggravated huff and shook my head. "Can you tell me the real reason?" I asked. I certainly wasn't going to force myself on her but I wasn't going to move until she talked to me. I looked at her expectedly and she sighed while running her hands through hair in thought.

"We CAN NOT be together," she stated plainly without looking into my eyes.

"Why not?" I asked, a little deflated.

"I'm damaged goods and I could break your heart," she said softly and looked up at me sheepishly while she hesitantly placed her hands on my arms.

I couldn't believe that Sam was able to turn a beautiful, confident woman into such a jaded girl. She still possessed her wonderful core qualities, but she got in her own way because she had been hurt before.

I scoffed, "you are not damaged. You are strong and independent and fierce along with so many other spectacular qualities." She huffed with irritation but I kept going, "you've been hurt before, I understand, therefore you shouldn't be concerned about _me_. Can you really not find it in your heart to let me in and trust me? I know it's a lot to ask but I thought I've proven myself."

She looked scared as she gazed into my eyes, "Embry, you have been more than I could have ever hoped for but…"

I cut her off, "you don't find me attractive?"

She stammered, "I-I do, b-but…"

"So you don't have feelings for me?" I interjected again.

She didn't answer as quickly this time. Her eyes went wide, she closed them shut, and she finally said in a small voice, "I do…against my better judgment."

My heart soared because she finally admitted her feelings; hearing it out loud felt absolutely amazing. It fell just as fast, though, when I saw the pained expression on her face as she opened her eyes and looked up at me.

I caressed her face and she winced. I could tell she was having trouble trusting me and letting me care for her. Words were not going to convince her. I had told her all I could.

My eyes studied her features for a second. I was trying to gauge her reaction before I did anything. Behind her eyes, I could see she was rebuilding her resolve and I only had a few moments before kissing her would become a death sentence. I leaned in and this time I didn't hesitate. My lips connected with hers gently while my heart hammered within my chest.

I closed my eyes in pure ecstasy. I figured out why I had never dreamt of this moment: no dream could ever do this justice, never in a million years. Fire coursed through my whole body from the touch of her lips and not just because of her high temperature. I could tell her I caught her by surprise when she stiffened and her heartbeat sped up uncontrollably.

I held my lips there.

_God, it's been a while since I've done this, _I thought as I stroked her cheek gently with my thumb, trying to elicit a response from her. I wanted this to be as magical an experience for her as it was for me. I planted a few more small kisses on her lips until I was about to pull away and give up. Right as I was going to, she slowly snaked her hand up my arm, across my shoulder, and at the nape of my neck. To my utter surprise, she pulled me to her and mashed our lips together.

I immediately responded with passion. I took the hand that was at the side of her face and brought it to her neck so I could get my fingers into her hair. We were both grasping at each other in order to stay fused. She finally opened her mouth slightly to take in a sharp breath and I took that as an opportunity to explore her mouth. My tongue found hers and she sighed while I moaned at the sensation. She tasted like honey. I was terribly aroused by this point, not to say I wasn't before.

After a very hot make out session, not taking any other physical steps, I pulled back slightly to catch some air. She took this opportunity to mischievously bite my bottom lip lightly. I groaned loud and guttural, that was so sexy I could barely contain myself. Once she let go, I placed my forehead against hers.

Before I said anything, I tried to catch my breath and maybe calm down my heart. Noticing that wasn't going to happen, I spoke up anyways, "so…do you believe me now?"

She bit her lip and said, "yeah, I guess I do."

I smiled brightly at her and leaned in for another kiss. She reacted a lot better than the first go-round.

This time, we explored a bit more. Every act was hesitant, especially on my part.

Her unoccupied hand went in between us as it grazed my abs, chest, and biceps. I hissed at the sensation and kissed down her neck. Slowly and ever so cautiously, I opened the top button of her shirt. I took this opportunity to bring myself back up to see her reaction. I gave her a bewildered expression that I hope conveyed, 'is it ok to do this?' She used the hand that was at the back of my head to mash her lips with mine again for a forceful kiss. With that, I teased my finger along her collarbone until she let me go. I slowly worked my way back down her neck and the exposed skin from slightly unbuttoning her shirt. Our breathing was getting erratic and she was guiding my ministrations with her grip at my neck. I got so far as the beginning of the valley between her breasts before I stopped. I had observed that she wasn't wearing a bra and I almost choked in aroused anticipation. I wanted to do more and I'm guessing she wanted me to. Her grip on my neck became almost painful while she tried to bring me lower, but I wasn't going to push my luck. I brought my face back up to her and breathlessly kissed her. She gave up trying to guide my movements.

She brought the hand that had been teasing my chest up around my back and pushed me closer to her. The arm that was keeping me up bent and now my elbow was on the pillow by her head. This gave that hand the opportunity to stroke her hair.

I was now flush up against her and I had noticed that my boner was perfectly between her thighs. I stopped kissing her for a moment and moved my head to rest within her raven hair. This was getting intense. I tried to slow down our breathing and reel in my hormones a bit before Leah got impatient.

She was going to kill me if she kept acting this way. I really didn't expect her to react this well. It was one thing to want to bang her when I saw her naked in the river but a whole different story when I was in the perfect position to actually do so. I was coming undone.

I was thankful in a way that she seemed as horny as me because I wouldn't feel like I was pushing her. On the other hand, she was driving me nuts in the process and making it hard for me to say no.

My horny brain kept reminding me 'she's only wearing two articles of clothing! You know you want to run your hand up her bare thigh' right when I was able to get a grip. I was at war with myself.

She lifted me by the nape of my neck and attacked me with another kiss. This time, I couldn't help it; I took the free hand that was not holding me up and ran it down her side. My horny brain began to win the war.

I let my thumb graze the side of her breast which elicited a deep moan to escape her lips as I continued kissing her. I kept trailing down, past her rib cage, her toned stomach, and then I reached her hips.

At this point I had no idea what to do next. This was moving so fast.

Luckily, I was saved when we heard a knock on the door. I removed my hand immediately from her waist and used it to lift myself off of her a bit.

We were so wrapped up in each other, literally, that we didn't even hear anyone come up the steps. I grunted softly but didn't dare say anything just in case they might hear me.

Leah sighed heavily and yelled, "yeah?"

"Leah, breakfast!" we heard Seth call from the other side of the door.

After the rumbling in both of our stomachs subsided at the mention of food, I thought; _Shit, little brother alert!_

We heard him rattle the door knob to try to open it and my heart nearly tore itself out of my chest. My first instinct was to jump off of Leah and run but luckily the door had been locked since I had tried to get into her room the night before.

"Why is your door locked, Leah? You never lock your door," Seth asked confusedly.

I started to disentangle myself but Leah grabbed on to my arms and shook her head at me. I turned to look at the clock on her bed-side table. It read 7 am and I wondered how I was able to sleep that long.

"What? Your sister can't have some privacy?" Leah yelled back at him. She ran her hand down in her face in aggravation. She looked so delicious at that moment, if Seth wasn't on the other side of that door with wolfy hearing, I would have ravaged his sister some more. Despite my terrible animal instincts, I refrained .

Seth finally gave up, "ok, Leah. But come down soon, mom made pancakes."

"Yeah, yeah, Seth, don't worry. I'll see you in a bit" she finished and then waited until we heard him walk down the stairs.

Before Seth had interrupted us, leaving was the last thing on my mind. However, since I was no longer making out with Leah, I was able to think strait. I still didn't want to leave, but I had a feeling mom was going to be freaking out and wondering where I was since I told her I'd be home last night. I quickly checked for my phone that was in my pants but I couldn't find it. I figured it must have fallen out while I ran here last night. If I had it, it wouldn't have certainly woken us up if my mother called, which I'm guessing she tried. I put my hand back to the side of her head and looked at her.

"Well, I think that's my cue to go," I told Leah as I lifted myself off of her. She just lay there as I got up and made it to her window. She gazed at her ceiling with a blank stare, I had a feeling she was regretting what just happened but I hoped she was just in a pleasure haze.

"Hey," I got her attention as she turned her head to look at me, "I'll see you later, ok?"

She nodded her head, looking like she was in a fog. I gripped the top of the window and started to put my first foot through.

"Wait!" she called as she abruptly shot out of her bed and made her way to me. I stood up and looked down at her.

"What?" I asked while peering down at her face. She looked up at me in confusion and thought as she folded her arms across her chest. Her hair was a mess and her lips were kiss swollen. My heart would never get used to the sight of her.

She began to speak, "Embry, I don't know what just happened….but it can't…" I stopped her as I got close to her and lifted her chin. I smiled and planted a soft kiss on her lips. Her eyes fluttered closed without her permission and they shot back open when I detached myself from her.

She took a long deep breath and slowly unfolded her arms to drape them over my shoulders. Looking up in defeat, she laid her body against mine and our foreheads touched. She brought her face closer and kissed me back. This time, we both lingered there and let it last. We were in no rush at all.

My hormones wanted to overpower her and possess her. However, she meant more to me than that and if I wanted this to go anywhere, I had to be patient.

I pulled away and licked my lips. We were breathing heavily and I tried to slow down my heart beat. Trying to get my hormones out of a no win situation, I gave the only excuse she would buy, "I should go before Seth get's suspicious."

She licked her lips in such a sexy way that almost melted my whole resolve. She bit her lip and nodded. Slowly and painfully, she unhooked her arms from my neck and took a step back. I sighed in disappointment.

Her face fell and she shook her head, "you are going to be the death of me."

I chuckled and cupped her face in my hands so she would look at my face, "it would be one good death, though. Wouldn't it be?"

She moved her head out of my grasp and I saw a ghost of a smile grace her lips as she slap my shoulder in playful punishment. I quickly found her lips again, giving her a small peck before I grabbed the window sill and leapt out of her window.

I landed with a soft thud amongst the leaves and pine needles. With a giddy spring in my step, I headed towards my house.

During the walk home I was absolutely euphoric. Sure, I was completely aroused and had basically blue-balled myself, but I couldn't care less. This was going down as one of the best days of my life…ever!

I felt like such a geek but I gloated anyways; _she kissed me, she kissed me!_

Not only was I tremendously happy, I was also extremely awestruck. I had made out with Leah Clearwater… _wow…_

I was so wrapped up in thought that I didn't even realize my mother standing on the porch. Once I made it to the front of my house, I looked at her and my smile was replaced with a look of shame. She had her arms crossed over her chest and she looked down at me in irritation. She wanted an explanation, one I did not have. I stopped at the bottom of the steps and she spoke up, "so, young man…where are God's green earth have you been this whole time?"

I swallowed hard. I was going to have to think of something on the fly, and I wasn't very good at that.

Right as I was about to say sorry, she interrupted, "bup bup bup! No, I want you to understand how worried I was before you give me some silly excuse." I hung my head in disgrace as she continued, "I was up practically all night waiting for you! I called your cell phone a million times with no answer! I was worried sick!" She then made a long, heavy sigh and her look of anger turned to one of loving concern. Continuing, she said, "Sweetie," and I winced at the pet name I didn't deserve, "it's ok if you don't come home, you are twenty years old, but I would at least like you to call just to warn me." She let out another distraught sigh.

I lifted my head a bit to look up at her; she stared back at me lovingly. I immediately walked up the stairs and engulfed her in a big hug. I even lifted her off the ground unintentionally. She giggled at my childish antic. I was still a kid at heart who's best way to convey gratitude and apology was through a hug.

"I'm so sorry, mom," I whispered into her hair as I let her down. Her scent had as much an effect on me as Leah's did. Leah's scent was woodsy and primal where my mother's was soft and reminded me of baby's breath. Where Leah's made my heart jump, mom's made my heart calm.

She separated us so she could get a good look at me. Lifting her hand gently to my face, she said, "oh, hun, it's ok. I would just like a little more communication from you. I feel like you're growing so fast and I'm losing you." She patted my cheek lightly.

I found her last comment a little odd. I had turned into a wolf almost four years back and I had been over 18 for two years. Why was she worried NOW that she would lose me?

As I looked into her eyes, I finally figured it out. It was because of Leah. Mom, even though she didn't know what happened with Leah or that anything had, could sense that there was another woman in my life.

I gave her another hug, she knew me better than anyone ever could. I looked at her again, "I'm so sorry, mom. It's just that I…"

She stopped me by closing her hand over my mouth, "it's ok, sweetheart. You don't have to explain anything." I looked at her with pure confusion although I was thankful she stopped me, I had no plan on what I was going to say next. "I don't know where you are but I have a hunch. I don't need to know, all that matters is that you're here with me now," she took her hand from my mouth, grabbing my ear playfully, "and knowing that you'll never do that to me again! Ok?"

I grimaced in fake pain and nodded.

She let go of my ear and went into the house.

"Want some breakfast?" She shouted over her shoulder as I followed her.

I smiled. Today was going to be a good day.

My mother and I had a nice conversation and she never once mentioned why I had been M.I.A. It was almost as if we had an unspoken agreement. I had a feeling she knew more than she let on. However, the only thing she brought up was my haircut: she was "very pleased."

After being stuffed to the rim with sausage, bacon, eggs, pancakes, and biscuits, I hauled my fat ass to my room and decided to take another shower. I was a little sweaty from the day before and I wanted to be clean if I was going to see Leah later today.

I was as light as a feather once I thought of Leah again. When I had undressed and entered the shower, I decided to go for cold water. Today proved to be a little too stimulating so I thought a cold shower would keep the naughty thoughts at bay….but it didn't.

I braced my hands against the wall and let the cold water pour over my warm skin. My mind was swimming with images of Leah pinned beneath me, kissing me. This wasn't any different from what I usually thought of, but it had an even bigger effect on me because I was drawing from memory instead of fantasy. It was absolutely amazing. I kept telling myself that it had to have been a dream, the whole thing.

I got out of the shower and threw a towel around my waist. Once I opened the door to get back in my room, I was sure that I hadn't dreamt anything.

Lying on her stomach on the side of the bed farthest from me and facing the head board of my bed, was Leah. She had her legs kicking lightly, in a steady rhythm. I noticed she was listening to my iPod as she held the headphones to her ears and propped herself up on her elbows. She was no longer wearing that sexy shirt but she was in the normal tank top and shorts. She was still absolutely mesmerizing to look at.

I took a timid step towards her and the old floor boards of my room creaked. Her head popped up from staring at the device's screen. She swiftly pulled the ear buds out and placed the iPod on my dresser. She sat up on her knees, putting her hands in her lap, and was about to say something until she looked up at me. Taking in my obvious state of undress, she coughed nervously, averted her eyes to the wall, and actually blushed.

_Wow, I made Leah Clearwater blush…._

I also reverted to a nervous habit, stretching my neck out and rubbing the back of it, trying to think of something to say. I cleared my throat, "uhhh…what you doing here Leah? I-I mean I w-wanted to see you later but…."

She stopped me by cutting off what I was about to say, "uhh, no, its fine. I had just finished breakfast and I was sitting in my room uh…" she took a quick glance at me then turned her eyes away again, "thinking about you." She took a deep breath, "we need to talk." Looking up at me, she didn't get embarrassed as she looked into my eyes.

I nodded and said, "yeah, sure. Just….ummm…let me get dressed?"

Her eyes had wandered a bit to my torso when I brought my limited clothing to mind again. Her eyes languidly passed over every contour of my body. I felt like a piece of meat, but in a good way. Finally, after her appraisal, she absent mindedly said, "yeah, you should go do that." With that, she tore her eyes away from me, brought her legs over the edge of the bed and looked out my window.

With inhuman speed I grabbed a pair of boxers and sweat pants out of my dresser. I put them on just as fast as I found them and sat next to her on my bed.

I put my hand gently on her leg, "ok, I'm decent."

She had been playing with her hands in boredom while I was occupied and she finally stopped to look up at me. Her face was emotionless but somehow calculating.

"Embry," she began with a long, arduous sigh, "about this morning…"

I squeezed her thigh lightly in assurance, "was not a mistake, stop second guessing this." I looked into her eyes in support as I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed like a deer in the head lights, staring at my lips as they came closer but right at I was about to kiss her, she backed away and took my hand off her thigh.

"God, Embry! I can't think when you're that close!" she yelled at me. Standing up in frustration, she stomped to my window and crossed her arms over her chest. I just sat there in utter shock. Old Leah was definitely back.

I placed my elbows on my knees, covered my face with my hands, and ran them through my hair. I spoke up to break the awkward silence, "and you don't think you have the same affect on me, Leah? Just your smell puts my head in a fog."

Once I said this, she turned her head to face me and gave me a confused glare. "I would normally think that's really….really creepy" and she turned her back on me again.

I was a bit humiliated when she said that, I couldn't believe I had divulged that sort of information. However, I then noticed the context of her comment and gaped at her, "but…" I tried to finish for her.

She kept staring out the window, refusing to look back over at me, "but…I shouldn't be one to talk." I finally got up from my seat and walked over to where she stood. I saw her take a deep breath and close her eyes. "It reminds me of camp fires as a kid and…" she paused to open her eyes and look at me, "and pine."

My stomach knotted and my heart rose. I had no idea she felt the same way. I turned my body towards her and cupped her face with my hands. I forced her to look at me and I smiled. She rolled her eyes at me. I laughed and gave her a small peck on the lips. She had closed her eyes and let out a slight groan. I could almost see her battling herself behind her eyelids. I just kept my gaze on her, hoping to melt her resolve.

For some stupid reason this is the moment my mouth decided to run off without my permission. I think it was just because I let my mind wander to last night and her heartbreaking, depressing mood.

"Leah, if you don't mind me asking: what did Emily tell you? What had you so torn up yesterday?" I asked.

Her eyes immediately shot open and she looked at me in horror. Her eyes went glossy and she turned away from me in pain. I heard her breathing become shallow. _Good going, Call, you made her cry, _I thought to myself.

I gently put my hand on her shoulder in comfort but she shrugged it off. I tried again and this time she walked away from me and sat on the end of my bed, pivoted away from me.

I immediately went to her side but I didn't touch her. She hung her head, holding it in her hands, and I could tell she was crying even though she was trying her hardest not to show it. I stayed there a while, just looking at her. I didn't know if using the same strategy I did yesterday would work. I finally decided the best course of action.

I got up from my seat and went to the front of where she was facing. I crouched in front of her and pulled her hands from her face. She was so broken that she just stared at me with tears streaming from her eyes, not even bothering to hide them. I let go of one of her hands and brushed away the tears from her eyes.

I peered into her eyes and tried something I thought might work, "when you're weary, feeling small, when tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all." I sang to her.

She glared at me and took a long, deep breath. Taking my hand from her face, she turned her gaze from me. I kept singing, though, "I'm on your side when times get rough and friends just can't be found like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down. Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down."

I brought my hand to her face again, making her look at me. Fresh tears were slowly trickling down her face. She shook her head and said, "Embry, really, stop. You don't have to do this."

I rolled my eyes at her and then recaptured her gaze. Looking into her eyes, I said, "now why is that?"

She lowered her head and whispered, "I told you, I'm damaged."

I shook my head and formed my hands lovingly around her face, "you're not. Whatever Emily told you has gotten you distraught and that's ok. Do you want to talk about it?"

Fresh tears formed in her eyes but they didn't spill yet. She finally blurted out, "Emily's pregnant."

* * *

Merry Christmas!!!!!!

This is my Christmas gift to all of you!!!!!!!!!

Ugh, this chapter was a pain in my ass! lol

Out of all the chapters, this one was revised and switched around more than any other. I really, really wanted to get it absolutely PERFECT! I hope I achieved even half of my goal.

Keep the reviews, comments, and questions coming. Trust me, I listen to everything you say and I LOVE every bit of it! Really, if there is anything you feel particularly strong about, tell me. Also, the longer the review…the better!

Reviews are love!

Tell your friends!!!!!


	11. Mary Jane and Layla

A/N

Ok…..PLEASE don't hate me. I'm an awful person, I know. My break was crazy then my computer decided to die on me and I finally got it fixed. I kind of put the story down at that point but now I'm ready to pick it back up and write like crazy.

Thanks for hanging in there with me, I really love this story and I'm glad others do too. Trust me, I wouldn't keep writing if I didn't have your support.

Here you are!

* * *

_Fresh tears formed in her eyes but they didn't spill yet. She blurted out, "Emily's pregnant." _

Her voice sounded strained but she kept it even. Blinking her eyes, one tear fell down her cheek. She turned her head to the side in shame. I saw her bring up her hands and furiously wipe her tears away in frustration. I could tell it was very difficult to let her guard down like this. She was definitely beating herself up from the inside for being vulnerable.

Seeing her like this caused me pain.

However, at the same time, I was confused. I wondered why she was so sad at hearing Emily's news. I knew that Leah was over Sam, maybe not over the bitterness and damage but she definitely wouldn't go back to him.

As I attentively watched her battle her demons, not knowing what to do, it finally dawned on me. It wasn't the fact that Emily was having _Sam's_ baby, it was the fact that Emily could get pregnant at all.

One thing that we all had trouble getting used to when Leah joined the pack was her thinking about her 'feminine issues'. However, I do remember vividly, her freaking out one day when she thought she was pregnant. All she could think about was the fact that she hadn't gotten her period since she had phased. Quickly and sadly, though, she figured that was impossible since she hadn't had sex with anyone except for Sam and the last time that had happened was months before. Ever since then she has had to live with the fact that she may never have children.

On one hand, I understand how that can be depressing for a woman but I knew for a fact that Leah wasn't baby crazy.

She was all too forward about her dislike of Quil's doting on Claire, but that was most likely due to the imprint. Other than that, she just didn't seem very motherly. She was more like the tough younger sister where as Emily was the mother figure.

I really didn't know what to make of Leah's heart break. Sure, I knew her better than most but this woman could still have my head spinning.

Not knowing really what to expect, I gave the stupid guy response as I put my hand affectionately on her shoulder, "it's ok, Leah. I'm sure you could adopt…"

She whipped around to face me with blinding speed and grimaced. Knocking my hand from her shoulder, she said, "you idiot! I don't want children! Do you really think I'm one of those baby-crazy women who can't wait to be a housewife? Is that what you want from me?"

I immediately became defensive, "n-no! I've never thought of you that way! I just couldn't think of another reason why you would be upset at hearing that Emily is pregnant."

I was floored that she even let me get in a word edgewise. Like always, I thought I was going to get hit, but the blow never came.

She stopped seething and became speechless as she bit her lip in contemplation. Averting her gaze from mine again, she turned away from me also. She gave a heavy sigh, "well, it's not that…."

I gently placed my hand on her thigh, keeping it there even when she twitched at the contact. "Then tell me what the reason is. I'd like to understand" I stated while trying to peer into her face while she kept turning away from me.

Time ticked by slowly as I waited for a response.

I focused on her breathing and her heart beat. She still refused to turn or move as I kept my hand and gaze firm. She made a cross between a growl and a sigh as she put her elbow on her knee, then her cheek on her hand. She had closed her eyes and she finally peered to the side to look at me. It was a look of resignation.

"I know what all of you thought of me when I first phased," she sighed out as she twisted away from me. Her other hand started to hover around the hold I had on her knee. I had a feeling she was going to yank it off, but instead, she placed her hand tentatively on mine. If I wasn't so worried and attentive, I would have smiled like a dork. However, I kept looking at her encouragingly when she brought her gaze back to me.

"I'm a freak," she said with conviction. I opened my mouth to protest but she squeezed my hand to stop me. Running her hands through her hair, she continued, "I was involuntarily thrown into the 'boys club' and with that…I lost everything that made me feminine."

I made a slight chuckle. Before she could attack me for my small indiscretion, I explained myself, "are you kidding me, Leah? I think you underestimate how sexy you are." At the end of my confession, our eyes met and I couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed and I turned away. I scratched the back of my neck in nervousness and only looked back when she snickered.

When I had my attention back on her, she rolled her eyes at me in frustration and finally removed my hand from her leg. She huffed, "any man in drag could give off female sexuality, convincing even the largest homophobe."

She turned from me again, "what I mean is femininity. What I mean is being characterized as a woman in all aspects." Staring at her hands in idle contemplation, she seemed like she wanted to say something else. I hoped she would elaborate, I didn't really understand what she meant.

Figuring that I was waiting on her, she began again with an arduous sigh, "When I first phased, I had already lost what made me feminine on the outside. I stopped caring what I looked like or what others thought of me. The only thing I had that kept me sane, that made me a woman, was my fertility." At this point, she surprisingly turned to me and looked me in the eyes.

She gave an ironic chuckle as she looked off into the distance, capturing the memories, and said, "I specifically remember the day I phased. I had just calmed down and transformed back, I was tired out of my mind, both mentally and physically. I had been laying on my bed and I thought to myself 'life has changed drastically in just a couple of months.' I got up and I looked around my room. It had once been covered with shoes, clothes, and makeup. My drawers had once been home to sexy lingerie. But right then, as I looked at my room, the only thing that could have told you that a woman lived there was the box of maxipads on my dresser." Her eyes came back to mine after her reverie. She looked scared, like I had seen something I should not have. This caused her to shy away from me for the millionth time that day.

Her voice sounded so soft when she finished, "now, I don't even have that anymore. It's been years and I still haven't come to terms with it."

With her head down, she tried to save herself embarrassment, "I know that doesn't make sense to you, but it hurts me more than I would like to admit. In fact, I can't believe that I'm actually admitting all of this to you."

I gingerly took one of her hands and turned it over, playing with the lines of her palm, trying to calm her down. Despite some tension, she didn't seem opposed to the intimate contact. I told her, "you shouldn't be embarrassed. I like listening to what you have to say. It's about time someone cared about you."

I stopped my ministrations when she tilted her head towards me. Taking this as an opportunity to show her how much I cared, I leaned in to kiss her. At the last minute, though, she turned her head and I ended up kissing her cheek.

Even though I had just been rejected, I could help but laugh a bit at her childish behavior and comedic timing. I looked down back at her hand and gave it an affectionate squeeze. "You shouldn't be so hard on Emily; she was just trying to be honest with you. The loss of you as a friend had taken its toll on her" I said.

Right as the words left my mouth, I knew I was in trouble.

She let out a malicious guffaw and wrenched her hand from mine, "oh, yeah. Poor Emily! She has a husband and a baby on the way, not to mention she still has both of her parents AND she doesn't turn into a hideous beast!" With the last declaration, she raised out of her seat and threw her hands in the air.

Trying not to incite any more rage, I stayed in my seat but raised my index finger to my lips and mouthed, "my mom's right downstairs."

Realizing her outburst and the consequences of it, she stopped huffing, resulting in her crossing her arms over her chest.

Once she calmed down a bit, staring blankly out the window, I said in a whisper, "it's not all Emily's fault, you shouldn't blame her…"

Her head snapped so fast, you could hear it, and she raised an accusatory finger at me. "Emily already took one aspect of what made me a woman, the love of a good man. Then, she had to throw that last stone on the grave of my womanhood!" she shouted in a whisper at me. With one long breath she ended with, "I can't have children, and thus I am an asexual mess."

Putting her arms back to a fold and staring back out of the window, I took that as the cue to drop the subject.

Still sitting there, feeling like a bit of an idiot, I looked around the room nervously. I really didn't want her to leave; nothing good would come of that. I had to think of something fast before she all of a sudden jumped out of the window, which I now noticed was open. Music always helped me when life decided to piss in my direction. In these past few days I've also noticed that Leah felt the same way.

I got up from the bed and headed towards my guitar which was lazily lounging against the wall. Layla had helped me through many a rough time. Yeah, that's right, I named my guitar Layla. I know it sounds really corny but since I didn't have a girlfriend or a car, my guitar was my girl. Just as I thought of that, I realized it wasn't true anymore. I hadn't picked up Layla in almost a month, ever since I had realized how much I like Leah.

Once I got back to my bed, I lounged on the side farthest away from Leah, leaving room if she decided to join me. With any luck she would if my plan worked. I started to tune Layla a bit, and noticed how much dust fell as I picked her strings. Despite the slight distraction of my neglect, I began to play. It wasn't difficult to pick a song. I always felt an odd clarity of mind when I was with Leah. Well, at least when it came to music.

The beginning of Tom Petty's 'Mary Jane's Last Dance' wasn't as powerful when you play it on acoustic, but I thought it was still beautiful to hear.

Leah had been ignoring me pretty well this whole time, but I was glad to see her give me a side glance once I started playing. I couldn't help but smile.

"She grew up in an Indiana town,  
had a good looking mama, who never was around  
but grew up tall and she grew up right  
with them Indiana boys on an Indiana night."

As cool as it would have been if I could play harmonica, I had not mastered that talent yet, so I whistled instead. Leah still faced the window and would stubbornly look back out when she caught me peaking at her. However, as always, her body gave away what she really felt. I noticed that she began to keep time as she tapped her right foot to the beat. With this encouragement, I continued:

"Well she moved down here at the age of 18,  
she blew the boys away, was more than they'd seen.  
I was introduced and we both started groovin'  
she said I dig you baby but I got to keep movin'  
on, keep movin' on.

Last dance with Mary Jane,  
one more time to kill the pain  
I feel summer creepin' in  
and I'm tired of this town again."

By this verse I was really in the heart and soul of this song. I was so much in the zone that I barely noticed Leah's hips start to slowly swing to the music. It was a good thing that I wasn't singing because I would have definitely choked at the glorious site.

If that didn't take my breath away, the sound of her voice singing the next verse surely did. Before I could even open my mouth, she picked up the tune like she had been humming it in her sleep for years.

"Well I don't know, but I've been told:  
you never slow down, you never grow old.  
I'm tired of screwin' up, tired of going down,  
tired of myself, tired of this town."

Hearing her beautiful voice sing one of my favorite songs did my heart good. I also realized how much truth the lyrics had when sung by her. I could even hear it in her voice. By the second line, she turned to me but she kept eyes closed as she got lost in the music. Her hips swayed in a sensual rhythm that almost made me lose time. My heart skipped another beat when she opened her eyes and began crawling on the bed on her hands and knees. I found my voice again for the next verse which seemed all too appropriate to what I was thinking:

"Oh my my, oh hell yes!  
Honey put on that party dress.  
Buy me a drink, sing me a song.  
Take me as I come, 'cause I can't stay long"

Leah had stopped short of my legs and sat on her knees, giving me a grateful smile. This is what I envisioned the true Leah to be and I was happy to have been the one to bring it out in her.

I had stopped for a second, wanting to get closer and touch her when she took the opportunity to speak, "I hate to admit it, but you really redeemed yourself after putting your foot in your mouth."

I chuckled and retorted, "yeah, I tend to do that sometimes." I hung my head in mock shame and she snickered at my childish gesture. Then, she unexpectedly leaned to the left and sat in the spot next to me on the bed. Extending her legs out, she leaned back on the pillows and put her arms behind her head.

I was lost for words. It was alarming how sexy she looked to me in the most casual of positions. As I ogled her feminine form, she either ignored me or didn't realize what I was doing as she looked around my room in curiosity.

Once she had done her inspection, put her head back down, and closed her eyes, she said, "that was once my stripper song."

I shook my head in amazement then looked back up at her face with a very puzzled look. She opened her eyes and rolled them at my look of sheer confusion. Closing her eyes again, she elaborated, "every girl has their stripping song. Most girls would pick skankier songs like 'Cherry Pie' or 'Poor Some Sugar On Me' but I'm much classier than that."

I really didn't know what to say to that. I coughed lightly and said the first thing I could think of, "so why didn't you?"

She knew what I meant the minute I posed the question. Her eyes opened and she glared at me while I stared back innocently.

"Well now you'll never get to see it," she said triumphantly while she folded her arms back over her chest.

I shrugged, "eh, I've seen it all before anyways…"

Her eyes shot back to mine and she gave me a shocked expression as I smiled back at her victoriously. But my success was very short lived as she fixed a placid expression on her face and slowly got up from the bed, heading towards the window.

I immediately took my guitar from my lap, setting it next to the bed in haste, and climbed over the bed, all the way begging, "no! Don't leave! I didn't mean it!" I was hoping to God she would believe in my sad attempt to save my own sorry ass.

Kneeling on the bed, I caught her hips and as I brought her closer to me, she spun to face me. She had her arms crossed, as usual, while peering down at me with inspection. I looked up at her like a puppy who had just been scolded, which was a pretty accurate description.

I was about to say something when she gave me a very deliberate look of hatred, like she wanted to kick me across the room. It goes without saying that I kept my mouth shut.

After a couple of minutes, waiting for her to torture me in some terrible way, she all of a sudden unfolded her arms and I flinched involuntarily. Without skipping a beat, she gently curled her hands around my neck, bent down, and whispered in my ear, "I've got you SO whipped!"

I pulled back and watched her laugh at me, but I was not quite ready to lose. I started to tickle her sides, which I had once been holding, and she immediately collapsed in a fit of giggles in my arms. While still tickling her, I was able to get her closer to me, onto the bed. She fell down on the pillows and I unrelentingly tickled her until I felt my revenge was well served. Once I had stopped, she lay there gasping, and so was I, although I was propped up on my elbow looking down at her.

We had the most childish grins on our faces as we tried to bring our heart beats down a notch. I felt like a kid again.

"EMBRY!!!!! Honey, are you ok?!" mom yelled from down stairs.

Apparently Leah fallen a little too hard on the bed and had caught my mother's attention.

Leah and I both had amused looks on our face that said, "shit! She's going to catch us!"

I tried to stop laughing as Leah did the same by clasping her hand over her mouth. In order to placate my mother, I yelled over my shoulder, " yeah mom! I'm fine, I just stubbed my toe and fell on the bed."

At that lame explanation, Leah cocked an eyebrow at me and I shrugged. I couldn't think of a better excuse. Of course, I really should have because my mom was not convinced and she decided to come up and check on me anyways. The minute we heard her steps up the stairs, our looks of hilarity quickly turned to panic.

Leah promptly leapt off the bed and headed towards the window. Before she could go, though, I jumped after her and caught her arm.

Once she faced me, I breathlessly whispered, "I'll see you later, right?"

With an exacerbated smile she nodded and I caught her lips in a surprise kiss before she headed out the window. Lifting my head out of the fog of having her lips on mine, if only for a brief moment, I quickly sat on my bed and picked up my guitar. I tried to look calm as I leisurely picked at the strings in fake idleness.

Just a second later, my mom opened the door and walked in with a laundry basket perched on her hip. She looked around my room suspiciously and put the basket at the foot of my bed. Trying to be clever, I could see her peering under the bed quickly before she stood back up. I tried not to chuckle at her detective skills.

Seeing nothing there, she addressed me, "that ruckus was you stubbing your toe?"

She looked so adorable when she was tapping her foot and had her hands on her hips in accusation. I looked at her naively and said, "yeah, mom. What did you think it was?"

She gave me a glare that conveyed, "oh you think you're sooooo clever. I'll find out what you're hiding."

With that she gave silly excuse to pry further, "I should make sure you have enough clean shirts."

In my head, I gave a loud scoff. That lame fib was even worse than mine. She quickly walked to my closet and opened it abruptly, like she was trying to catch someone off guard. I couldn't help but chuckle.

She stood there for a moment, feeling defeated. Turning back to me, she shook her head in amusement, probably wondering why she had ever questioned her darling son in the first place.

Trying not to smile in idiotic accomplishment, I watched her pass me while keeping a vague expression on my face. Once she left my room, I finally took a large breath. I wonder what she would have done if she found Leah…

As I thought this over, I was pretty sure I knew the answer. She would look at us both knowingly and explain how she KNEW this would happen. Then she'd probably give me the longest safe sex talke of my life. Yeah, it was a good thing she didn't find us out.

Just as that last thought entered my head I heard a soft thump, and my eyes turned to my window. Leah was crouched on the ground, with one eye closed, most likely thinking she had hit the floor too loud. We both waited to hear if my mom was coming up the stair and heard nothing. With a confirming nod from me that the coast was clear, she stood up slowly.

Before I could get up or say anything, she took something out of her pocket and threw it at me. My wolf senses allowed me to catch it before it hit Layla. When I looked down at my hand I noticed it was my phone. Once I finally looked up, Leah was facing outward, sitting on the windowsill with her feet dangling.

Laying Layla on the bed hurriedly, I tried to catch her but she leapt earlier than I wanted her too. Once I got to the window, I called to her receding form, "Thanks!"

She ran off into the woods without another sound.

* * *

Thanks again for all the support and I hope you liked the latest chapter, I'll try not to have that big of a gap between chapters again.

Oh, and check out 'Gravel', my Leah Fanfic. I finally started writing this story in Leah's perspective and I really hope all of you check it out. I premiered it last time when I gave you chapter 10 of this story but I forgot to mention it. I haven't gotten much response from 'Gravel' so go check it out and tell me what you think.

Reviews are love!

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